in the Lord alone

Day 14 of

The day I found out, the day my world suddenly changed, my cell phone broke.  It literally stopped working completely.  One second it was on and the next second it was black.  No amount of pressing buttons, removing batteries, blowing in it like it was an old Nintendo did anything to help.  All of my phone numbers, pictures, social media, contact to the outside world was gone.

I went through the next few days of the biggest struggle of my life, with a basic go phone with real buttons, a tiny screen, zero internet capabilities, and the phone numbers of five people; our pastor Dave, Zach, Leslie, Rebekah, and Lisa.  

I am convinced it was God.  I am convinced that because He knew what was coming that evening and the intensity of the days following He knew He needed to destroy one of my biggest distractions so He did.  

On that tiny little screen in a font that used to be the only one that ever existed I saw a text message from my pastor.  The second conversation, that in four simple sentences, sent my heart and mind on a journey to a spiritual paradigm shift that has become the key to my resting and clinging to Hope.

Rejoice in the Lord alone.

Hope in the Lord alone.

Rest in the Lord alone.

Be satisfied in the Lord alone.

This was not one of those messages that gave me immediate peace and comfort.  This was one of those messages that in such simple words and phrases carried so much truth that it broke me.  These words set me on the path of discovering the fears and the distractions and the idols in my life.  These words open my eyes to what was in my number one priority spot.  These words slowly began to refocus and rebuild me to where I needed to be, they brought me to the Lord, alone.

Through these four lines that have become a mantra in my life, I saw that all would be ok.  Not because I was convinced that my husband and my marriage would blossom into something amazingly beautiful, or because I knew that God would present people in my life to be the hands and feet of Jesus, or because the hurt of betrayal would turn into sorrow and forgiveness. 

 I knew it would be ok because I already had the one thing I needed.  These words grew in my heart and shifted my mind and taught me, reminded me, that I had something to rejoice about, I had someone to rest in, and I had somewhere to place my hope.  Most importantly, that if I was satisfied in Christ alone, nothing else mattered.  Nothing should be able to affect the core of my spiritual life, because God fulfilled that with His Son.  He is all I need.  He is all you need.

I pray that each day in my heart, in my head, and in my actions that I am in Him alone, and the Hope He brings.