because you should love anyway

I wasn't planning to write this morning, at least not here.  When asked why not by my husband, my response was that I didn't have anything to say.  I don't like to write just to write, like you shouldn't speak just to speak.  If you don't have anything good to say, say nothing at all, right?  In jest, he said, "why don't you cover something simple, like racism and white privilege."  He is very passionate about this topic and I love his desires to research, meet with friends, and have real talk with others on how to bring about seriously needed heart and action changes.  I have many thoughts, future hopes, and frustrations within that topical sphere as well, but he knows covering such subject matter is just not my thing.  I want to dig into the root of a person, the emotional distress and success, the going straight to the heart of an individual.  It's just you and me looking at ourselves and our hearts and seeing and hearing how our inner dispositions can be changed.  That one sheep at a time method can eventually build a herd that can create change together.  I'm honored to be an early stop on the road of a Kingdom changer!

But then my mind wandered to Christmas shopping, which made me think of Cyber Monday, which made me remember a sweatshirt I saw that I really want because of the words on the front.  Words carry weight and alleviate it, and both are needed.  These two, in an instant, did both.  LOVE ANYWAY.

They did both because seeing this phrase pricked my heart of ways I am not loving others well, loving them despite things, loving them Anyway.  It also lightened my heart with the reminder of the way loving another literally lightens you.  It gives you peace and ease to let go of frustration, of the yuck you may be harboring.  Loving anyway takes the pressure away of deciding how to act or be, it lightens your burden when you see there is no decision you have to make, just a truth you have to lean in to.

I am currently rewatching Friends during times when my hands are more needed than my mind.  There are so many favorite quotes that many people who know, like KNOW,  the show can quip back and forth to each other, but there are a few favorites of mine that I do not know if any one else remembers.  One is Phoebe, in frustration, saying "You big, fat did it anyway!"  Even though in context she was referring to something someone did that she asked them not too, it only requires a slight exchange of letters for my heart to take it as a encouraging command instead.  Just big, fat do it anyway.

Before you brush this off as a simplistic view, a few years ago I did a series on learning to love that you can find here.  If you want a more in depth look at what love is, why we can't love on our own, and other angles, please check that out.  I promise it is worth a glance, I personally have to glance back at it often.  For right now, let's just take those two words and live them out, let's Love Anyway, and let's do it for a very simple reason.  God told us to.

Love one another. (1 John 4:7) A new command I give you: love one another.  Just as I have loved you, love one another. (John 13:34)  This is how people will know that we are his disciples, if we love one another.

He tells us to love, period.  He doesn't tell us to love the lovable.  He doesn't tell us to check someones background to make sure they are worthy.  He doesn't tell us to scan a person's clothing choices, skin color, body odor, or bank account.  He doesn't tell us to skip those people he knows we can't stand being around.  He tells us to love, period.

When your child is having a meltdown and all you want to do is scream, Love Anyway.

When your friend is snapping back at you or pushing you away because of a hurt going on in their own life, Love Anyway.

When you see or hear someone say something so opposite of what you think it makes your blood boil, Love Anyway.

When you see a person purposely hurt another, Love (them both) Anyway.

When you see another in need but don't want to leave your cozy, safe bubble, Love Anyway.

When your temptation is to roll your eyes, return a comment with sarcasm, or to talk about another behind their back, Love Anyway.

When your desire is worldly justice instead of Kingdom work, Love Anyway.

When it feels like your life is falling apart and you have no idea what is going to happen in the future, Love Anyway.

When everyone tells you that you do not have to love someone else because what they have done doesn't deserve such a feeling, Love Anyway.

Is your heart starting to write a few of its own?

I want that sweatshirt because like the tattoos on my body so permanently reminding me of other truths, I want that reminder to Love Anyway.  That reminder that it's not that I should do it, but that I am ABLE to do it, because God loves me.

We do not have to be scared or nervous or defeated or sad or angry.  We can just love because it does not matter if that love comes back void or full, all the love we need God fulfills and if we spill all of it out on others He will keep filling us back up.

Not every subject has to be ground breaking.  Not every lesson has to be the first time you have learned it.  The most needed ones are the ones you have heard and learned a thousand times over, but still need again.  Today is one of those days.  A day where I am reminding myself that I need to love anyway and that I will forget so I will need to learn to love anyway again.

Praying you find ways today and forever to Love Anyway, pray for me.

for when we expect perfection from the imperfect

Auburn lost.  My sports lovers know what I'm talking about.  If you are not one of those, bear with me, this is going somewhere non sports related I promise.  They lost.  And while the mom and dad were disappointed, the ten year old and eight year old were devastated.  When your excitement and hope raises to high levels of what could be and are then dashed, it's a hard and hurtful fall.  When you're a young boy living in the state of Georgia and have to walk into school the following Monday and see the dreams you wanted written on the face of another, it stings.  Lessons are certainly learned in good situations and bad, but man doesn't it feel like one way outweighs the other?

While watching Auburn not win a title this year, six pieces of furniture sat outside in the driveway waiting to be brought in.  Warm air of day mixed with the cool air of night and condensation took those beautiful just completed refinished pieces and coated them with a milky white finish that couldn't just be wiped away.  The next afternoon amidst the frustration of a clogged paint sprayer in a desperate attempt to just finish something the right way, tears of anger and disappointment collided into a minor meltdown.  This time the ten year old and eight year old were happily watching a Merry movie while mama was devastated.  Lessons are certainly learned in successes and failures, but man doesn't it feel like one way outweighs the other.

Even without the perfectionist mentality of needing a blemish free situation, everyone loves a perfect ending.  Everyone wants a perfect outcome.  Everyone wants to perform perfectly.  Everyone wants to be treated perfectly.  The moment the end result doesn't meet the expectation created, friction starts, and sometimes that friction becomes a firestorm.

While trending topics do not often make their way into these thoughtful sharings there is one that has been on my mind for weeks.  Not so much the "what" that is happening, although that is sadly present, it's the wondering of the outcome.  What will the fallout be for those involved and how will our world change because of it?

I am cautiously treading forward begging for grace to be given while reading with the promise that I can do my best talk to it through with anyone who by chance misunderstands or misinterprets my meaning.  Or even better, to talk it through with someone who understands life much better than I and can help me discern the situation, can help bring wisdom into my life as I look upon it.  There are no real answers coming, just questions to ask and think about, and a pointing once again to the sole source of Truth.

Men of fame are falling like flies.  Each day another one has fallen from grace and hit a bottom so rocky there doesn't seem to be anywhere else to go.  Rightly so, as their actions are despicably  hurtful and harmful.  My mind, like the minds of many other girls and women, has gone back to times in my life where the dominance of a male figure convinced me to do things, say things, and act in ways outside of my thought-to-be character, due to naivety and fear.  And while there are just as many times that my own sinful heart encouraged me to engage in behaviors that were known to be wrong, the female in me still rejoices that there is a seemingly male witch hunt going on to claim those who have spent their life preying on weaker vessels to fill their own needs.

The redeemed part of me is heartbroken as I am reminded how much we have all fallen from grace and how much this world likes to demand perfect behavior without the presence of a perfect Savior.

We annihilate without understanding.  We condemn without compassion.  We reject without responding.  Leaving those that have fallen sitting in the muck feeling like they have no choice but to pull themselves up and figure out how to live up to the standard that has been set up.  A standard none of us can live up to. 

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.  If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they will refuse to listen, tell if to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.  Matthew 18:15-17

How did Jesus treat pagans and tax collectors?  He asked them to follow him.  He ate with them at their table.  He touched their hearts, and drew him near.  He did that for me, because I was one of them.  Just as you are.

How will the world respond to such situations?  Is the world going to help pick up those that have fallen under the weight of the consequences from their own actions?

How are God's people going to respond?  Will we join in the droves of others calling for their heads and rejoicing that they have gotten their comeuppance or will we crawl down into the mire and stretch out our hand just as God did for us when He came out of time and space and gave us His Son.

This well written and well timed quote was said by Savannah Guthrie, though I do not know if it was she who penned it, "We are grappling with a dilemma that so many people have faced these past few weeks:  How do you reconcile your love for someone with the revelation that they have behaved badly and I don't know the answer to that."

Whether regarding this exact type of situation or countless others, we each come across many times in life when we have to look and see that the person we created in our minds does not match up to the behaviors that come out.  We are looking for perfection in the imperfect and are thrown off guard when expectations are dashed.

It's easy to love on the lovable.  It's a joy to bring a parent food for their new babe or to walk alongside a family lovingly opening their home to a fostered child.  Holding the hand and praying with a friend who is battling an illness is heart-wrenching but healing.  Donating funds to veterans who served and fought for your freedom seems like the least you can do. But Jesus didn't stop when it came to touching the lives of the socially acceptable problems so I don't believe we, as His people, can either.

The hands and feet of Jesus keep walking and keep grabbing the lives of those who feel like they have fallen so short it's as if they are a million miles away.  The hands and feet of Jesus leave 99 of their sheep in a pasture and searched high and low for that one so that it knows it will never be alone.  

We reconcile our love for someone when compared to their faults because we know we too are faulty.  Perfect love doesn't go away when someone fails us.  Perfect love doesn't go away when we fail another.   Perfect love is made stronger as we walk alongside each other guided by a Perfect Spirit given to us by a Perfect Savior.

The firestorms are not over.  They started a long time ago and will continue until the end of this earth.  I don't know how the world will respond, but I pray His people will respond, that I will respond, in the same way I was responded to, with an unconditional love and a direct arrow pointing to Jesus.

Pray I'll be able to do that, I'll be praying for you.