for when you need to say things out loud

I remember what his face looked like.  The expression of complete regret and fear with eyes that were starting to show relief.  He sat across the room, knees apart serving as a place to set his elbows, hands up ready to catch his head if it fell forward from the raw emotion swimming inside.  I knew what was coming and even though it was the last thing I wanted to hear, I begged for him to just say it, say it out loud, because then the ice would be broken, then it would be out in the light...

Our lives revolve around communication.  Even in the most isolated places on earth there is language, the ability to speak and respond in some manner so that community can work together, rejoice together, disagree with one another, and live life.  However, unless you are under the age of 4, one can not just go around saying aloud every thought that comes through the mind.  Honestly the under 4 category probably shouldn't either but so far I have yet to find someone with the skill to enable that filter.

Words harm and words heal.  The phrase "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all" is well shared among the southern states.  It is also well known that if you are told hundreds of wonderful, positive things about yourself and then one negative, it's that one negative that will stay with you the longest.  It is for these reasons that we are told to be kind to one another...(Eph. 4:32) and to no unwholesome word come out of your mouth but only what is good for building others up...so that it gives grace to those who hear it. (Eph. 4:29)

Filters are a valuable thing.  They strain out impurities so that what you are taking in holds only that which is good for you.  In the world this may be referred to as your conscious.  Good ol' Jiminy Cricket sang a very catchy song about letting your conscious be your guide.  Listening to the inner voice telling you what is right and wrong.  In Christianity, we believe this is the Holy Spirit.  What Jesus left with his children here on this earth living inside you and guiding is your filter. Through it, with knowledge of the Word, filters our words, actions, and thoughts sifting out impurities and changing them to be more like Christ.  A point worth mentioning however, is that whether we follow the Holy Spirit's leading or not we are still loved and forgiven and never left alone.

I know no one who does not have regret over something they said that they wish they could take but as we talk today about words we speak, it's not the ones we have said to others that is the focus, it's the ones we haven't said, the ones we hold onto inside.

Maya Angelou said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." And while it is easy to immediately think that she is referring to letting out that budding writer that may be inside some, it can also be very easily applied to the story we each live out.  Each life is a story written by the greatest Author, meticulously planning and allowing experiences that will mold and shape us to become what He has designed us to be at story's end.  But within life there is beauty and despair, joy mixed with sorrow, refining and rebuilding that needs to be done and our hearts and minds often want to pull away instead in hopes to keep away the difficult parts of the process.

While much concentration is done to learn to filter our words and only let out what is helpful to others, there is an equal amount of concentration by us to hold our words inside because of what others may think if we let out our true selves.  

I would be willing to bet there is at least one thing that even right now you are keeping inside, afraid to say out loud because of how it might come across, how it will sound, how it makes you sound, because it may be wrong or because of what another may think as soon as you finish the sentence.

If you are scared to say something, that is a usually a good sign that you need to say it!

Words can eat at you if you leave them hidden, causing agony as Mrs. Angelou said, and worse keeping them in darkness, away from the Light, where they can be twisted so violently that you begin to believe the lies instead of allowing in Truth.

As a "counselor in dreaming" I have developed a simple two step process to help release those words from inside your heart.

1.  Find someone to say them to-  Lucky for you, there are two people with you all the time that you can speak to.  One is yourself, the other is God.  Yes having a bosom friend or spouse who will listen and love you no matter what you say is a pearl above price, but please do not think you need to drive anywhere, wait for your next girls' night/bible study/community group/workout/counseling session or wherever else you might have conversation.  The first priority is not to have your words heard, it's to get them out and give them a voice.

2.  Say them out loud-  Quite often this one small but not so small action is the only thing needed to bring healing and relief to your soul.  It takes courage to speak out the things you have hidden and as soon as the words have left your lips there can be peace and understanding that what you have feared so much to say may not be scary after all.  This one action is an act of faith and that act is rewarded with a precious peace that passes all understanding.

Everything we say out loud that is bottled up inside will not be right.  We have hearts full of sin and our thoughts will skewed, our opinions will be unjustified, our words will be full of envy, or unforgiveness, or doubt.  Even if more steps need to be taken to process through whatever the words reveal, they will be out, confessed, given a voice, and brought into the light and THAT is when healing can begin, when perspective is given, when wisdom is gained, and when our inner dispostions begin to change.

You may say hard things, you may hear harder things but He is faithful and just...He will cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

I pray that you will give all the parts of your story a voice so He can do just that, pray for me.

because we each leave pieces of ourselves in the world

Handmade, handcrafted, lovingly put together in a mother's womb, each piece was delicately and beautifully positioned.  Into the world emerged a young life, a young soul, and no matter the actions behind conception or the emotions of the earthbound parents, a Creator smiled down knowing His Child was created perfectly unique, perfectly themselves, perfectly fitting in a story ages old that stretches to eternity.  Beginning there but never ending...

Meandering down the rows of another cute boutique during a day meant for rest and friendship an item caught our eye.  Printed upon the canvas of a zippered pouch was a paragraph of encouragement ensuring the onlooker that they were beautiful the way they were, created for purpose, loved beyond measure.  The hint of sadness was not hidden in my friend's voice as she spoke forth words of desire for her daughter to believe such words when they were said to her.  The only response I could muster, as the litany of reasons that caused the same disbelief were being hurled at my heart once again, was that there are many who have trouble believing the good things about themselves.

Imagine our Father, lovingly looking down on each of us, sharing that same desire, that we could believe all the words He has said to us.

To live life resting in and believing all Truth with unwavering precision would bring a feeling so comforting it is doubtful it could even be imagined.

Somewhere along the road the sojourner of life stumbles creating bruises outside and within that stay for a time and become reminders of missteps.  Straying off the path and getting lost only to have to delay by turning around and back tracking causes doubts and uneasy steps in the future.  Spotting fellow travelers on the road ahead of you make one wonder why you are traveling so slow.  Seeing others behind you gives a sense of boastfulness for the false thought of being ahead of the game.

It is these continuous circumstances that shift our view from Christ and with it results in the loss of peace that comes from focusing solely on Him and the ability to see ourselves as we are seen. All things of this world will send you places as far from truth as can be taken while all things through Christ will take you to places far out of this world.

The good news, always the good news, is that a journey is exactly what you were created for, continuously being redeemed, day by day, experience by experience, and the lane you are in is for you and you alone, perfectly crafted, personally planned, for the only soul who can live it out.

You are not what you were and though you are what you are now, you are not what you will be.

Mike Kinnebrew, a long time friend of ours, has pursued music for many years in the midst of his own journey of stumbles and side paths.  Each of his songs brings Truth in a way that requires thought and reflection upon the lyrics flowing within the beautiful melodies.  

This is all, all I am, and all I'll be.  I'll sing my song, I give them to you, these pieces of me. 

These lyrics, favorites of mine, speak to these thoughts of believing you were created with care and purpose and loving who you were meant to be.  Each of us pieces perfectly fit together.  Each of us pieces of a bigger story being told.  Each of us leaving pieces of ourselves for others along the way.

Reading through 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 brings comfort in the differences, beauty to design, Hope because of the promise that you are brought together no matter how different you may feel.

...in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body and all were made to drink of one spirit.  For the body does not consist of one member but of many...But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose...

Each created for purpose.  Each unique.  Each brought together with other unique beings.  Parts of a whole.

Think about your role, your part, the pieces of you that the world needs.

Using those pieces so carefully created, God puts us into the narrative, guides us to take part in Kingdom work so that we can see Him more clearly and feel His presence more closely as we leave pieces of ourselves in the world.

I'll be praying that you can believe this of yourself, pray for me.

because life happens in a flash

For reasons undoubtedly learned in college child development classes but forgotten in detail along the way, age 4, in our parenting experience, was when imaginations began to soar.  Anything and everything could happen by simply pretending it to be so.  Each young blondie in his growth from toddler to all out boy traveled through the phase of make-believe.  While one or two have the definite signs of taking it to the core of their lifelong personality, it was still a journey for them all.

Our oldest at age 4 was thoroughly enthralled with a Flash costume.  This thrift store find was far from mint condition, but despite it's loosening seams, hanging threads and lack of ability to close in the back, to him it held a power to transport, quite literally, in a flash to anywhere his super powers were needed.  Over and over I would watch as he zoomed past me from the hallway, constantly asking "Did you see me?"  "Can you see me?"  "Am I going so fast?"

One day, my husband took a picture of that mini flash as he was zooming across again and again. The effect on camera created a blur of color following that little super hero as if he truly was running so quickly that the naked eye could never spot him.

Unfortunately, not every flash produces the smiles that a kid in costume can.

Change is inevitable.  Whether welcomed with open arms or fought against tooth and nail or dealt with somewhere in between, change happens constantly.  One of the hardest parts of life is when it sneaks up, unexpected, and in a flash your normal is not only different, you know it can never be the same again.

When someone, either just once or over and over, has experienced a figurative bomb going off in their lives, it may not bring the physical destruction that a wire and metal one can, but these crisis situations can leave an emotional and spiritual aftermath of distress, confusion, and upheaval that can take just as long or even longer from which to recover.

Inside, new pathways are created in your mind that now lead to distress, fear, anger and a host of other negative emotions.  Because of these new paths, any moment in the future that might even hint at a past difficulty causes the sequence to trigger and in less time than it takes to blink, your heart and mind are overcome with the emotions the past has created.  If by chance you are taken by surprise and have an unexpected reminder in the midst of your happy normalcy, the journey to distress feels even more immediate.

During a sermon recently we were asked if any of us felt like we were experts in any given skill. Often feeling like a jack of all trades, master of none, the pitiful list in my head was nothing to be impressed about.  One thing I do feel as if pro status has been achieved these past three years since my most significant bomb in life, is understanding triggers and the difficulty they can cause in someone's day.  I assure you, it's not a skill to be envious of as the sometimes debilitating emotions caused by anything from song lyrics, to foods, to instagram photos can shut down all viable senses for hours or days.

In a quick moment, it can seem as if more than one step has been taken back, in truth it can feel very much like a back to square one situation.

If there is any part of you who feels this, has felt it, can identify with it, please know, please hear, these moments do not define your well being, they do not get to say how much progress has been made or not made, they do not get to make you feel as if you are missing something vital or have been forgotten.  In short, they don't get to say.

Don't let them be what speaks to your heart.  There is One far better to entrust with that privilege.

Looking back, it is crystal clear that the journey to make believe was needed childhood experience in my boys' lives that not only created grand memories for child and parent alike, but opened minds and hearts to ideas outside of their tangible environment, ideas that would prepare them to be able to trust and have faith in something bigger than themselves, bigger than their understanding, bigger than their realm of possibility.

There is a common phrase swapped among parents, especially the mothering kind, that the days are long but the years are short.  As a firm believer that we are all learning the same Truths, though through many different ways, only believing one group can glean from that nugget seems wrong, selfish somehow.

For all of us, every being upon this earth, life is lived so often in flashes.  Like a creature finding it's way across a raging river by stepping on and leaping to whatever rock or tree trunk happens to be peeking above the surface until they have reached the other side, the bits and pieces of days can also feel separate from each other, just bits of stone and wood that are seen and leaped to to keep from falling in the water below.  The beauty comes in looking back and seeing those bits and pieces were really just a jagged path leading you safely to shore.

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in EVERY detail of their lives.  Psalm 37:23

Delight in this Truth as He delights in you.

Every one of us has had experiences which we have not been able to explain: a sudden sense of loneliness, or a feeling of wonder or awe in the face of universal vastness.  Or we have had a fleeting visitation of light like an illumination from some other sun, giving us in a quick flash an assurance that we are from another world, that our origins are divine...I think we have not been fair to the facts until we allow at least the possibility that such experiences may arise from the presence of God in the world and His persistent effort to communicate with mankind.  ~A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God 

Hardships are not the only thing that come in flashes, His Good comes in flashes as well.

We can feel God speaking to us, the Spirit working in us, much like the sun rises.  Bit by bit, color change by color change, until finally the whole picture is visible.  Many parts of life require a wait, require that slow dawn of knowledge collecting and plans to be prepared before being revealed.  But daily we are given flashes of His goodness, reminders of His faithfulness, visible snapshots of grace and mercy, "assurances that our origins are divine."

Each of us will be presented with different things, different flashes to show we are loved and cared for, to show we have been given much, much more than asked or imagined.  This world will try it's best at times to block those reminders and replace them instead with negative memories and suggestions of failing.  At times the world will succeed, but only for a moment, for a flash, it will never conquer a heart held in the hands of it's Creator.  Hold on to Him, Hold on to the Hope He provides.  Look for the flashes of Light.

As always, I'm praying for you, pray for me.

Dealing with disappointment

sunset at city pond

In the back of my head for several years now I have felt the need to address this, to make it real through writing, and most importantly to allow the thought that comes with writing it all out to help process through the different experiences from the past and others that will inevitably come in the future in hopes to better help heal, better help guide and better help learn myself how to approach them with the right heart and attitude.

The only problem is I don't want to think it through.  I don't want to process, I want to suppress.  My desire is to stuff it back in or brush it off as nothing and continue about the day knowing sooner or later the fresh feeling will go away and the ability to say "see it wasn't that big of a deal" will be easier.

 

But holding hands with the desire to just ignore is the realization that I just don't know how to help.  Which is, in all honesty, so much worse and the reason why flight is a frequent go-to reaction.  The helpless feeling of not knoSing what to say, if you can help, when to speak, and when not to, can be gut wrenching.  It's a second-guess girl's worse nightmare. 

It's hard to voluntarily open yourself up to any subject that hurts, that lays your heart bare, that has the possibility of leaving more questions than answers, or worse, to come to realize that there's not an answer.  There's not a clear and concise 'why' to soothe the spirit.

But ignorance is not always bliss.  It's a wall that keeps you stagnant, keeps you from walking through to the next thing designed to continue molding you into the man or woman God is creating you to be, keeps you stuck instead of movable, instead of yielding, instead of freed from self to fully submit to the hands of the One who has always been holding you.  

Countless topics could follow this introduction, and that part does conjure up a small smile in the midst of a hurting heart as you see clearly that God's design is for each of us specifically and all of us together.  We are all learning the same lessons, in a million different ways, and He speaks straight to the heart of all of them using the same Truths.

The subject at hand today is the hard that comes through dealing with disappointment.  Not in my own life this time, but more so in the lives of my babies, though usually I learn plenty about and for myself as I help navigate them through the inevitable ups and downs of growing up.

The times where as a parent you have to watch the look on the face of this child that you would, without hesitation, lay down your life for, as the difficult road of character building begins through a disappointing experience just plain sucks. Sorry for the non-impressive literary slang, but some words carry meaning better than others.  Just be happy that the rhyming word I really wanted to say stayed in my head this time.  Let's face it, character doesn't get built through sunshine and roses, but there's a part of you that wants to convince God that you promise you'll be fantastic at learning things the easy way!

We had a tough parenting weekend where we had to watch our baby hurt, watch him be disappointed in a way not so big in the grand scheme of life but very big in the heart of a dedicated boy.  Details are not necessary, because unlike the voluntary sharing of my own struggles, screw ups, disappointments, and hard fought lessons learned, my job is not to spill the guts of another but instead to assist them in feeling confident to spill them out themselves preferably before the throne of Grace, before the Savior who, without a doubt, understands our weaknesses.

However, like I said, I have no concrete answers.  I'm a rookie in this game, who has already self admitted to purposely ignoring God's call on my heart to even address this topic because I knew I would have to sort through my past and my disappointments and then convince a heartbroken boy to do the same, even when I know we'll both be better for it

No matter how many past experiences we have where the hurt is completely worth the place God brings us to, it is still difficult to roll up those sleeves and trust that the same result will be true.  Lord we believe, please help our unbelief.

In these times, no matter how serious or frivolous they may seem, there is a Hope, a promise of redemption, a promise of renewed heart and being molded into the ultimate goal of the likeness of Christ.  On this earth we will see joys and failures, experience elation and devastation, and convince ourselves more than once that these individual moments are what define us, are what are important, are the reason we live. 

But just as you can't define yourself by the difficult things that happen, you can't, on a different day, define yourself by the awesome ones either.  The only identity that matters is the one found in Christ.  This is our ultimate goal for our children and for ourselves, to know whose we are and what that means.  There's always something that can be learned, always a lesson that provides another step in sanctification, always a way to become different, more Christ-like, more available to help others with a need you've already gone through.

That, however, can take a lifetime to truly embrace, so until then this rookie is going to rejoice with my sons when they rejoice, mourn when they mourn, admit with them that unfair things will happen, try to help them see that Grace and Mercy is also beautifully unfair, cry and pray on their behalf in the way too early hours of the morning, ask women with wisdom and experience to lift us up and tell me what the heck I need to do, screw it up out of my own anger and frustration, seek forgiveness, let my sons know that I love them fiercely, be there when they need a laugh, a hug, silence, or just a cup of hot tea, help them when they are ready to seek humility and the lessons they can learn through it, and remind them as many times as humanly possible that they are loved unconditionally, that they are made in the image of a Holy God and that there is a plan specifically designed for them by the One who holds on to them no matter how many times they not only want to but do let go.

That is true for us all.

I'll be praying you know and believe it's truth, please pray the same for me.

now what?

A piece of reassurance often given in a period of trouble, sadness, or confusion is the reminder that God knows the big picture.  He is aware of the ending, in fact he created it before the world began, so trust Him.  Muttered to ourselves, spoken lovingly from a trusted mentor, thrown in by that well-meaning acquaintance, or passed along from our very own lips to another, this is something we say and has been said to us as soon as we knew the word God and could recognize an event or feeling we didn't quite care for.

How comforting are the words, O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  you discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. (Psalm 139:1-3)  It's straight Truth.  One of the many that will float up as I sit and be still in a time of trial. but more than once-or a thousand times-did I still wonder, after that glorious reminder of my all knowing Creator, but now what, in light of that what do I next?

Even in the midst of pure thankfulness for an all knowing and loving Father there is a human desire to know what's next, the direction of the next step, the ability "to have a road map of exactly where we are going." Madeline L'engle in Circle of Quiet

My mother, sister and I were frequent puzzle put'er together'ers.  Spread out on a table would be a large pile of pieces and slowly over a few days as we gathered at the table on and off to relax in the art of puzzle piece placing the picture would become more clear and pieces would become easier to place as the pile grew smaller. Recently I found out a sweet friend is, in fact, a puzzle aficionado.  She shared with us through social media the way she solves a puzzle; the way she organizes, divides and brings back together the thousands of pieces it takes to create the image appearing on the cover of a box.  It was quite ingenious and made even the most intricate of pictures seem like a task that could very easily be conquered.

Somewhere between childhood and becoming an adult I began to think of  the 'big picture' God knew about me as one of those intricately huge puzzles with pieces spread all over and like a scavenger hunt of experiences I would have to keep an eye out for them, grab the ones I found and spread them on the table trying to piece them together to figure out what step was next in order to make that big picture a little bit clearer.  While learning from experiences and being open to God speaking to you through them and others who are experiencing them with you is a wonderful way to learn valuable wisdom and insight it's leaving out, as the Jesus Storybook Bible says, the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together.

With my heart very much in love with Jesus I had built together this Worldview based on my own thoughts about what I'd read, what I'd been taught, what I'd noticed others do or not do, what I deemed as good or bad based on the effects it brought not understanding that I was reinventing the wheel, making things much more difficult than they needed to be, blocking myself from the true meaning of the word that is now my greatest companion.  In the effort to put together the puzzle, to see the next part of the picture, there was a lack of abiding alone in the work of Jesus, of in ALL [my] ways acknowledging him so that he can make straight my paths.(paraphrase of Proverbs 3:6)  Have you ever recognized your own efforts steering you this way as well?

Three summers ago our church spent Sunday evenings listening to a video series called The Truth Project which are lessons that help define your worldview strictly based on the Truth of Scripture.  In the midst of giggling with Zach every time the speaker spoke the name of God in a very breathy and climactic pronunciation that came out like GAHD and being more than a little overwhelmed at scientific facts that might have gone more than a mile over my head, I learned a phrase, or a question more accurately, that forever answers that question of what now? what's next? in the light of all this what do I do?

If you really believe that what you believe is really real...  Much like Jesus speaking in the book of John, it is a tongue twister that requires only a moment of thought to understand and requires years to truly comprehend.  Or like my YoungLife directing friend would say, which research told me is actually a paraphrase from a Gregory the Great quote "it's shallow enough for a baby to wade but deep enough for an elephant to swim!"

If we really believe that what we believe is really real then 'what now' is abiding in Christ and knowing Him better  If we really believe that we believe is really real then 'what's next' is taking that knowledge and walking in it, making it a part of every thing we are and everything we do.  If we really believe that what we believe is really real then "what we do" is make ourselves less and make Him more, allowing the actions of our everyday, no matter the stage we are set upon, to glorify Him instead of ourselves.

My big picture is not a puzzle requiring my efforts to put it together, my big picture is a plan set in motion before the world began that becomes more clear as I follow the Holy Spirit down the path my Savior has laid before me.

It's not an easy road but it's a good one.  Pray for me, I'll be praying for you.

"And I believe what I believe

Is what makes me what I am 

I did not make it, no it is making me 

It is the very truth of God and not 

The invention of any man" 

Creed by Rich Mullins

remembering the truth

In my attempting to be humble opinion, one of the most important parts of knowing someone well is to be able to pick out their weaknesses as well as their strengths.  To know someone is to know all of them and to love someone is to love all of them as well.  As you become familiar with those you are close to and those you are becoming close to, as you learn the ways in which they soar and the ways in which they fall, it enables you to be a more in tune friend, a more supportive spouse, a more encouraging parent, and a better prayer warrior petitioning before their Creator in the ways that are specific to them as individuals.  All of a sudden, the faces, moods, voices, body language and such become more than just clues but become answers to questions you no longer have to ask before you begin to respond.

Each of the loves in my home require these invisible lists in my mind.  My middlest man, my carbon copy, my clone in boy form, forgets everything, well he forgets the tangible and tasky things.  The instructions given to him on where to go, what to do or what to put away are quickly responded to in voice but are very rarely carried out without multiple reminders and, unfortunately on my part, an exasperated sigh at best.  Jackets left on benches, thermoses left on playgrounds, lights left on, packed suitcases from playtime in the fort outside have caused loss of my time and money and sanity more often than can be counted.  However, my frustration can only last so long because not a moment later, I find myself standing downstairs in the middle of another room frozen and staring at the wall desperately trying to remember why I went down there in the first place.

Forgetfulness is firmly planted in my catalogue of weaknesses.  It is, thankfully, somewhat amusing to my friends and family when they are required to send yet another text letting me know the array of things I just left at their homes after a dinner together or having to deal with the water bottle clanking around in their car that was left at the gym or the stack of boxes that my parents set aside to mail back all of our forgotten items after a trip to visit them.  Forgetfulness is most often frustrating and can occassionally be entertaining, but there are times when it can be downright detrimental, especially in cases when the item you are forgetting is Truth.

The Truth of God is in everything, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Eph 4:6), he is before all things and in him all things hold together (Col 1:17) and even the heavens declare {His} glory (Ps 19:1).  Truth is all around and in everything we see and do, but scattered in are lies specifically placed to throw us off and our Sovereign Father is not the father of those.

In times of trial, in those first moments when I am hit with a new hard or an old one that's come up once again, my greatest desire would be to tell you that the first thing I do is cling to those Truths, those promises of faithfulness that I know oh so well and have experienced time and time again.  But usually just the opposite occurs.  Instead I am like the fearful ant in A Bug's Life whose path was suddenly obstructed and instead of calmly searching out where to go next I am instead in the field screaming "I'm Lost!  Where's the line? It just went away.  What do I do?  We'll be stuck here forever!" 

Oh how I covet the ability of my dear Sherlock to close his eyes and tour his mind palace to find the exact item he is looking for to lean on and share to solve the problem at hand, though the drug cocktail he needs to get there makes it lose it's luster.  I often joke/am completely serious with my friends that if I had the space I would build a room like in A Beautiful Mind.  Though the walls would still reveal a mishmash of words, phrases, and drawings, they would not be covered in the sad proof of a man struggling with mental illness.  Instead, covering every available space, there would lie the quotes, scriptures, stories, diagrams and pictures that remind me of Truth, that will instantly ground me at the feet of the Cross where my eyes and heart and mind are immediately immersed in the faithfulness of my Father, reminded of the sacrifice of my Savior and held by the Spirit He left for me.  This would be welcomed much more than the desperate Where's Waldo search that I often attempt in the midst of panic.  Like those elusive red and white stripes, Truths are hard to find when you allow the world around them to interfere with your view.

While I am still seriously considering implementing my "beautiful mind" wall somewhere in the decorating scheme of our new home, I know in my heart it's not necessary.  The only thing that is necessary is to "be still" (Ps. 46:10) and to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness." We are promised that "the words that go out from {His} mouth that not return to {Him} empty, but shall accomplish that which {He} purposes, and shall succeed in the thing for which {He} sent it (Isaiah 55:11)"  Truth is out there and Truth has been placed in me and in you by a Spirit that lives and walks and guides us everywhere and in everything.

Remembering can be difficult.  Waiting until the pain subsides before relishing that freak out or searching for a quick fix to allow you to limp on your way is a great temptation.  I would love to place a mandatory 24 hour time out on everyone, my self most definitely included, when times of struggle or hardships occur whether they are traumatic or just slightly frustrating.  24 hours to sit and be still, to think and remember and seek, to wait for the Truths to float up, to let the words that are hidden in our hearts be able to make their impact first so the doubt and lies can't take center stage.

Pray for me, I'll be praying for you.