gives and takes

Day 21 of 

A little over three hours ago I went in a cave.  I don't mean a cave like you see in children's books that has a big arched entrance and you huddle just inside for a bit of shelter or where a friendly bear is sleeping out the winter with his pals.  I mean a hole in between rocks that is cold and slippery and darker than any dark you've experienced and leads into a cavernous area with a trail that continues for 6.5 miles if you were adventurous enough to follow it.

I went in a cave because we are currently 'yurting' in Cloudland Canyon State Park with family and todays events included hiking the West Rim, climbing boulders in Rocktown and visiting a cave.  I did not know until 100 yards from said cave that it was not a cave I imagine in my head and as soon as I was told it was not a cave that I imagine in my head I informed everyone that I was not going in it.  However, my sweet, encouraging husband thought it would be a good experience to share with our oldest two and so I climbed through a dark, cold, slippery, winding hole into a giant cavernous area beneath the earth doing my best not to let my second born who basically got only my DNA see my tears so that he would not begin to freak out as well.

It's still amazing to me how quickly I can doubt.  Even just feet away from daylight surrounded by family who love me and aren't going to let me get lost, if I am even the least bit uncomfortable or afraid, I expect the worst to occur.  I lose all Hope.  When I choose not to cling to that Hope, when I turn away instead, I begin to gain back all the negatives that Hope replaced.  Fear.  Doubt.  Insecurity.  Unbelief.  

  The Christian life can often be a frustrating one.  So often we do what we don't want to do and don't do what we want to do (Romans 7:15)  I 'know' the answers, I 'know' the right thing but during the doing of it there is often a breakdown.  It's because I need Christ.  That's why I have a Savior.  That's why I have His Hope to cling to because I cannot place that hope in me.

Hope gives us a promise but it also takes away a burden.  The burden of clinging to ourselves.  The burden of carrying it all on our own.  The burden of figuring it all out.

  Everyone has a different experience, a different situation, a different bomb, but through all the differences we are learning similar lessons.   Through the differences we are all being drawn to the same place.  Our Father is drawing us in.   Cling to Him.  

Apart from God we have no hope (Ephesians 2:12) so set your hope in God because He can do all things (Jeremiah 14:22)