because fear doesn't own you

You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

Don't tell me what to do
And don't tell me what to say
Please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display

~John Madera and David White, songwriters

As an adult with a slightly higher level of maturity than the me long ago, rewatching movies from my tween and teen years makes me gawk at what was being let into my being--I'm looking at you Clueless.  I mean Josh was in college thinking about law school and Cher was 15...15!!!  Along with droves of other things and other media I won't get into now, my abundant naivete thankfully/unfortunately did not understand the depth of the scenarios presented.  However within them situations stuck and for better or worse had a hand in developing me into me, my thoughts into my thoughts, and my reactions into my reactions.  

Have you ever heard something or seen something from an unconventional source and have it either radically change your life or set off a series of thoughts inside you that led you to a conclusion you have looked for for years?  Anything can preach.  The gospel is everywhere.  No matter how much the world desires and tries to hide it, God will make himself known whether in the most obvious of places or the most random.  

And all the peoples said Amen, especially this girl who while flipping through Netflix saw a picture from a movie watched during those years I mentioned.  After that brief moment of scrolling past, the title song made its way into my head and as it repeated within there was an almost immediate understanding of a Truth.  It doesn't own me.  It never has.  The It I am referring to is fear.

I could sit down and list all the things I am scared of, and actually have done some in the past here.  It's a great exercise and I will be challenging you to do that later.  There are also verses upon verses dripping with Truth from the only real source of it reminding that we have not been given a Spirit of Fear, that the Lord is our light and our salvation so whom shall we fear?,  in Him we trust we do not have to fear.  That last one gives insight to the issue of fear.  When my trust is in Him I do not fear, the moment my trust is moved onto something else fear sets back in.

 Even if there are extensive lists in front of you of both your fears and the Truths that fight them, until a realization hits that you, that I, am living in fear, letting those objects, people, and hypothetical situations effect choices and direct steps, there is never freedom from fear.  We were often reminded by our former pastor that head knowledge is not enough, you have to feel it in your gut too.  That is when it becomes part of you.

Fear is second nature, it's an involuntary reaction that feels so normal you do not even realize it's happening.  For some it has been that way forever.  The imperfect world you were born into, the imperfect body you start with because of the fall long ago is predisposed toward fear.  Much like the way some are predisposed to certain illnesses, or addictions.  Sin ain't no joke.  It weaseled it's way into everything.  

For others fear has  found its way to you through the experiences of life and the effects from them.  When you are faced with, hit by, a traumatic experience of any kind it leaves its mark not just physically, or emotionally, but chemically in the very makeup of you.  Fear is planted.  

There are wondrous things that come through trauma.  God promises that the sufferings of this world will NEVER compare to the glory revealed in us.  Within the hard you find a Good God that is more wonderful than you could have ever imagined, you see yourself more loved than you could have ever understood.  But somewhere, sometime later on because of this broken world an infiltration begins. However much you have known and felt the true Peace that passes all understanding, you still know what it is like on the other side.  That same past knowledge that God uses to give you an abundance of compassion for others is also used against you by another one to keep you on edge, making you think in every experience another shoe can drop, another shoe will always drop.  Satan twists, it's his specialty.  Fear is his favorite weapon.

When you let the list of fears effect your choices, guide your steps, you are giving the power of control to things that, quite frankly, don't get to say.  They don't get to change you.  They don't get to tell you what to do.  They don't get to tie you down.  They don't get to keep you from the things for which you were created.  They don't own you.  

But also remember that we don't own ourselves.  Thank goodness, because I've seen the way we mistreat the things we own, forget about the things we own, get tired of the things we own.

So who owns me?  The same one who created me, holds me, loves me, guides me, protects me, comforts me, never tires of me, never mistreats me, only helps me, only does things for my own good, and knows what I fear and has cast it out with his perfect love.

The earth is the Lord's and ALL it contains, the world, and those who dwell in it.  Psalm 24:1

O LORD, how many are Your works!  In wisdom you have made them all;  The earth is full of your possessions.  Psalm 104:24

Confession time.  There are two things God has asked me to do that I have said yes to doing, yet still have not done.  Much like that annoying elephant in the room, they are there in my thoughts, the knowledge that I said yes but have been overcome with fear of what will happen after that I just keep circling them, painstakingly procrastinating, trying to tick off every other possible thing on the to do list first.  And for those who know me, my to-do list is looooonnnng.

It's a short trip from trust to fear.  One moment our eyes are directly upon our Creator and the next they are averted to an easier task,  a plan already accomplished, or an escape route that gives immediate comfort.  But Isaiah 26:3--and the tattoo on my foot--reminds that He will keep us in perfect peace when our minds are stayed directly on Him.  On Him, not on our fears, our doubts, our what ifs, our if onlys.  On Him.

I am challenging you to make a list.  Write down every little thing you are afraid of from the silliest of bugs to the biggest of scenarios.  Do you see a theme?  Can you see if those fears direct themselves all to a similar root?  If you are so inclined, also think about how those fears have changed the way you have made decisions.  Do you have your own elephant you are skirting around?  Please tell me I'm not the only one!  But please, please please please, do not stop there, in the midst of that despondency.  Now, look up.  Look to who owns you, who has always and will always love you, who gives more than you could ever ask or imagine.  Look to who has and will cast out every fear and redeems them in the process.  Look up and see that fear doesn't own you, a Mighty God does.

I'll be praying for you, pray for me.