a project for hope

Rejoice in the Lord alone.

Hope in the Lord alone.

Rest in the Lord alone.

Be satisfied in the Lord alone.

One text message, four sentences, and a spiritual awakening that might never be topped in my lifetime.  Though I pray that God will see fit to continue to grow my heart, mind, and spirit in leaps and bounds, even if He doesn’t, this was enough.

No two people will have the same story, even in the most similar of circumstances.  We are exquisite individuals created for unique purposes and thus the lives we live must be unique as well.  All of the road began from birth is a series of hard and lovely  God’s design is for each of us specifically and all of us together and it is my firm belief that we are all learning the same lessons just in a million different ways while our Sovereign Father speaks straight to the heart of all of them using the same Truths.  

I know very little about the medical field but I do know that flat lining is pretty much the worst thing that can happen.  When it does occur, buzzers go off and lots of highly trained people move around in a necessary flurry to do all the things they have been trained to do to keep said thing that is happening from continuing to happen.

On this earth we will see joys and failures, experience elation and devastation, and convince ourselves more than once that these individual moments are what define us, are what are important, are the reason we live.  In these times, no matter how serious or frivolous they may seem, there is Hope, a promise of redemption, a promise of renewed heart and being molded into the ultimate goal of the likeness of Christ.

Hope, in the world’s eyes, can seem so much like a wish.  Like a desire for something that might never be, might never come to fruition, and then all that is left is a longing that won’t be filled or a yearning now pressed down deep in an attempt to be forgotten.  Oh how I {hope} this might happen or that might happen.  We live our lives hoping for things that might never come true, that might never be, because our hope is not real, it’s not set upon a Truth that never fails.

Hope, true biblical Hope, is unfailing.  It is the eternal rest in His promises, in God’s promises, that will stay with you through the next thing and the next thing and the next, pouring into your heart, building up your faith, and drawing you into deeper relationship with Him.  It is excitedly anticipating the fulfillment of God’s future blessing for you, His child, while living a life this side of heaven.  It is beauty given to us, but it is also, so often in our view during our hardest experiences, unreachable.

I want to share how to search Hope out, where to find it and how to reach out and cling to it and when you inevitably let go how it never lets go of you.

Hope is there to cling to because things happen in life that require us to need that Hope in which to cling, need that Hope to wrap it’s arms around us when we can’t hold on any longer.  Becoming a child of God does not mean you are stepping into a life of easy perfection where everything goes your way and you no longer have a care in the world.  Becoming a child of God means you are living this life with all it’s ups and downs resting in the promise of the Hope God provides.

**If you would be willing I would greatly appreciate you taking this brief survey to share your personal thoughts on hope as research for an upcoming project. Please feel free to share as much or as little as you like, but whatever you share let it be your real self, unedited, unafraid of judgement, secure that there is no wrong answer.

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alexander hamilton, rosa parks, mother theresa and you

"Beautiful are the ways of God if we allow him to use us as he wants"  ~Mother Teresa

Music is a very large part of our household.  Both of us grew up in households where music, to play, to sing and for dance, were not only encouraged but pretty much demanded.  Just ask my younger brother who spent three years of piano in the first primary book and then suffered through a year of show choir in middle school.  Or ask my husband's family, but I may have to warn you that they might just break into song to give you their answer.

While I will never be the one seeking out new songs, artists, albums, etc because my other half will always do it for the both of us, I will always join in in the listening over and over until the songs that touch me become a part of me.  Any teacher will tell you that the best way to make something stick in a child's mind is to put it to music.  This is the very reason that to this day I sing the ABCs to myself when alphabetizing and why in my head the books of the bible song is constant when looking up scripture.  It's also the reason why I may never be able to rattle off the 50 states because somewhere in my education my teachers neglected to teach me "Fifty Nifty United States."

Currently in my home I have been bombarded with a musical that has become quite a sensation across the country.  My husband is obsessed with it and has generously passed that obsession down to our boys so that in the car my four year old is singing "to the union, TO THE REVOLUTION" at the top of his lungs.  If you haven't heard of Hamilton I highly encourage you to seek it out.  The story of one of our founding fathers told through Hip Hop by a melting pot of ethnicity and an amazing amount of musical writing genius and vocal talent is worth your time and then some.

Two of the songs on the album have brought me to tears, both for very different reasons, but there is no limit for the ways, hows, whys and whens your heart can be touched.  The last few lines of the show hit you with a lasting thought, not about the man whom the show was based on but for your own life, "who tells your story."

This can be a depressing thought to some depending on from which angle you want to view that question.  It's easy to look back and see all the lacking, to doubt what you have done to make an impression to others or to look forward and continue to doubt that there is not something great and special out on a horizon somewhere.  You and I are not the only ones to see the faults glaring brighter than the gifts, but you and I both do hold the promise that gifts are exactly what we have been given, and a Hope and a Future are there for us as well. (Eph. 1:3, Jer. 29:11)

Paired with the thoughts Hamilton has produced, are the ones that come from reading a book by Eric Metaxes that features seven amazing women from history, their impact, and the secret to their successes.  I could go on and on about the amazing encouragement each of these women were as I read the stories that I was told about them, but I'll spare you the hours it would take to read such a gush filled review and share only these few thoughts.

None of these women, from Joan of Arc to Mother Teresa with 5 others in between, began their life seeking greatness, none of them made choices based upon the ladder they could climb and the prominence they might be able to carry, and none of them are established names in history because the steps they took were quick or easy, and all of them went through physical, emotional, verbal, and/or spiritual damage and upheaval before their story was done.  Each of them, however, had one very important thing in common, desiring to tell a more important story than their own.

Their secret, in a nutshell, was a Faith in their Creator, Savior, and His Spirit that enveloped their every decision and letting that Faith carry them in the midst of a variety of difficult and darkness in order to shine.

How thankful I am that we can share that one commonality with them as well.

Just as Sally Lloyd Jones tells us that every story of the bible "whispers His name," our lives do the same but sometimes "in a futile attempt to erase our past we deprive the community of our healing gift.  If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others." (Brennan Manning)

The vast majority of our lives will not be turned into a Broadway phenomenon, and our names will not be written in books that generations and generations after us can read, but every single person God has created has a story that can be used for Him, and whether millions, thousands, hundreds, or just those a few close and personal people will know it, you are promised that it will be used for Good.  

I'll be praying for you, pray for me.

on purpose

Do you have any words or phrases that make you cringe?  Ones, that when you hear them, your shoulders shrug up your head tilts uncomfortably sideways and you shiver just a bit.  In early adulthood I met a friend who hated the word moist.  Seemed odd to me since that's a word I would use to describe yummy baked goods, but I soon discovered that it was a familiar word to have an aversion too.  You learn new things every day.

As for me, I tend to have similar reactions around buzzwords, words that all of a sudden become trendy and therefore get thrown around by anyone and everyone.  The judgmental part of me can assume it's an act needed to assist in integrating a cool group by proving you know the lingo.  The sympathetic part of me wonders if it's a ruse used to sound as intelligent as everyone else in the group discussing current events when inside you might feel as if you are way over your head.  Of course the majority probably truly do understand and desire to use the phrase because it is the best word for the occasion, but it takes one to know one and as I honestly tend to fall into the first two categories, the third always seems far fetched--transparency at its finest.

When I started college the trendy word was random.  Not like a random word, but the actual word random.  Whether in response to what you did last night, where you were going after class, or who you saw from your hometown, a proper response could always be "whoa that's so random." I vividly remember feeling like I had entered a world of adult conversation and had never felt so inept by my naivete and non world wise vocabulary.  Oh Freshman year...

In my teaching world, the buzzword of the day was paradigm shift.  My principal found a way to work it in every conversation and said it almost as much as piggyback which I may or may not have kept up with by tally marks on faculty agendas next to a hand drawn pig complete with curly tail.

The Christian world is no different.  Though the Word of God is inerrant and never changes, the words Christians tend to bring out of it to focus on, throw around, and share can most definitely change.  One such word that I have self professed to giving me the reaction I mentioned earlier has been on the top of that list for the last few years, at least in the realm of believers I have contact with, and it is intentional or intentionality as some may say.

I understand its meaning, but in the sea of conversations it had been tossed into, commands given because of it, and flags waving to make sure others could see whomever's intentional steps without seeing much action behind the speak, that meaning began to become lost on me.  One day a list, of course a list, was made in my notebook of all the synonyms I could think of for intentional; purposeful, thoughtful, considered, preplanned, intended, designed, and voluntary all lined up and took their places on the page hoping that my stubborn mind would make the automatic shift to those when confronted with "that word" in conversation and I could meditate on that instead.

To be quite honest, it actually worked. Though semantics is a bigger deal than some may think, the real reason it worked wasn't because my mind was focused on a synonym, but because my heart was focused upon all of them.  Who cares what word was used, the care is that the heart was actively pursuing a direction that God called it to go towards.

To be intentional is to do something on purpose, to do something deliberately, and when used to describe our walk in Faith it is quite a beautiful thought with an even more beautiful outcome. Spending each step, each decision, each moment to deliberately, on purpose, glorify God in all you do, praise Him in everything, think about the effect before plowing through to the next cause, the next place, time, meeting, or conversation, and understanding how light can be carried through the important and through the mundane is gospel in tangible form.  Faith without deeds is dead (James 2:17), intentionality makes Faith come alive to those around you.  

While it is always a hope to encourage whomever blesses me enough to read my words, the purpose always begins because of a needed pep talk to myself.  This time last year as summer was beginning, the calendar was full, the summer fun list created, and as it always does time zoomed past with most everything checked off the list, but as I sat alone on the first day of school I realized one of the most important things that had been missing those last couple months, quiet.

Quiet in the midst of chaos is most definitely achievable, but without the deliberate, on purpose, intentionality it is almost impossible.

Before the next two months go whirling past in a swirl of sky, sun, and green I am praying that God continues to pull our hearts to Him so we, in whatever tasks this summer holds, can intentionally point others to Him as well.

Pray for me, I'll be praying for you.

Dealing with disappointment

sunset at city pond

In the back of my head for several years now I have felt the need to address this, to make it real through writing, and most importantly to allow the thought that comes with writing it all out to help process through the different experiences from the past and others that will inevitably come in the future in hopes to better help heal, better help guide and better help learn myself how to approach them with the right heart and attitude.

The only problem is I don't want to think it through.  I don't want to process, I want to suppress.  My desire is to stuff it back in or brush it off as nothing and continue about the day knowing sooner or later the fresh feeling will go away and the ability to say "see it wasn't that big of a deal" will be easier.

 

But holding hands with the desire to just ignore is the realization that I just don't know how to help.  Which is, in all honesty, so much worse and the reason why flight is a frequent go-to reaction.  The helpless feeling of not knoSing what to say, if you can help, when to speak, and when not to, can be gut wrenching.  It's a second-guess girl's worse nightmare. 

It's hard to voluntarily open yourself up to any subject that hurts, that lays your heart bare, that has the possibility of leaving more questions than answers, or worse, to come to realize that there's not an answer.  There's not a clear and concise 'why' to soothe the spirit.

But ignorance is not always bliss.  It's a wall that keeps you stagnant, keeps you from walking through to the next thing designed to continue molding you into the man or woman God is creating you to be, keeps you stuck instead of movable, instead of yielding, instead of freed from self to fully submit to the hands of the One who has always been holding you.  

Countless topics could follow this introduction, and that part does conjure up a small smile in the midst of a hurting heart as you see clearly that God's design is for each of us specifically and all of us together.  We are all learning the same lessons, in a million different ways, and He speaks straight to the heart of all of them using the same Truths.

The subject at hand today is the hard that comes through dealing with disappointment.  Not in my own life this time, but more so in the lives of my babies, though usually I learn plenty about and for myself as I help navigate them through the inevitable ups and downs of growing up.

The times where as a parent you have to watch the look on the face of this child that you would, without hesitation, lay down your life for, as the difficult road of character building begins through a disappointing experience just plain sucks. Sorry for the non-impressive literary slang, but some words carry meaning better than others.  Just be happy that the rhyming word I really wanted to say stayed in my head this time.  Let's face it, character doesn't get built through sunshine and roses, but there's a part of you that wants to convince God that you promise you'll be fantastic at learning things the easy way!

We had a tough parenting weekend where we had to watch our baby hurt, watch him be disappointed in a way not so big in the grand scheme of life but very big in the heart of a dedicated boy.  Details are not necessary, because unlike the voluntary sharing of my own struggles, screw ups, disappointments, and hard fought lessons learned, my job is not to spill the guts of another but instead to assist them in feeling confident to spill them out themselves preferably before the throne of Grace, before the Savior who, without a doubt, understands our weaknesses.

However, like I said, I have no concrete answers.  I'm a rookie in this game, who has already self admitted to purposely ignoring God's call on my heart to even address this topic because I knew I would have to sort through my past and my disappointments and then convince a heartbroken boy to do the same, even when I know we'll both be better for it

No matter how many past experiences we have where the hurt is completely worth the place God brings us to, it is still difficult to roll up those sleeves and trust that the same result will be true.  Lord we believe, please help our unbelief.

In these times, no matter how serious or frivolous they may seem, there is a Hope, a promise of redemption, a promise of renewed heart and being molded into the ultimate goal of the likeness of Christ.  On this earth we will see joys and failures, experience elation and devastation, and convince ourselves more than once that these individual moments are what define us, are what are important, are the reason we live. 

But just as you can't define yourself by the difficult things that happen, you can't, on a different day, define yourself by the awesome ones either.  The only identity that matters is the one found in Christ.  This is our ultimate goal for our children and for ourselves, to know whose we are and what that means.  There's always something that can be learned, always a lesson that provides another step in sanctification, always a way to become different, more Christ-like, more available to help others with a need you've already gone through.

That, however, can take a lifetime to truly embrace, so until then this rookie is going to rejoice with my sons when they rejoice, mourn when they mourn, admit with them that unfair things will happen, try to help them see that Grace and Mercy is also beautifully unfair, cry and pray on their behalf in the way too early hours of the morning, ask women with wisdom and experience to lift us up and tell me what the heck I need to do, screw it up out of my own anger and frustration, seek forgiveness, let my sons know that I love them fiercely, be there when they need a laugh, a hug, silence, or just a cup of hot tea, help them when they are ready to seek humility and the lessons they can learn through it, and remind them as many times as humanly possible that they are loved unconditionally, that they are made in the image of a Holy God and that there is a plan specifically designed for them by the One who holds on to them no matter how many times they not only want to but do let go.

That is true for us all.

I'll be praying you know and believe it's truth, please pray the same for me.

consistently inconsistent

For twenty minutes this morning I reread through past writings, some shared through May Days some here but hidden, out it in the open, before the courage to share had begun.

I was in search of something to repost, to share again, or for the first time, because the possibility of having some alone writing time today seemed, well impossible.  More than one conversation has been had in the last few days about the epidemic of exhaustion on the faces and bodies of mamas, daddies, teachers, coaches, and anyone counting down the days for school to end and today was just another day with multiple engagements on the calendar.

As I read and searched nothing seemed quite right, nothing seemed to fit the thoughts I would have for right now, for this day, for this time and season.  Not because the words I read I now disagree with or felt could no longer be helpful or encouraging for someone.

No, all the words I read brought forward many memories, a few smiles, and more than desired hardships, but above all infinite thanks because where I was then I no longer am.  Even with the numerous similarities that were brought up of busy schedules, blonde boys, and overwhelming doubt that forever attempts to shadow all of life there was enough different to make me think.  Within them I found a hidden gem, a beautiful reminder of faithfulness and sovereignty.

Life is consistently inconsistent, but we are dearly loved through it all.

There will always be Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring.  There will always be scary or exciting beginnings.  There will always be sad or triumphant endings.  There will always be friendships.  There will always be heartbreak.  There will always be loss.  There will always be gains.  But none of them will happen the same way twice.  All of them will cycle around, over and over in a variety of scenes played out as you go through life seeing, experiencing, and being taken through the challenges and joys that mold and sanctify your heart.  But in all the consistent inconsistencies there will always be growth.  

During counseling, which I recommend to anyone whether you think you need it or not, when I would get frustrated about having to deal with emotions that I was confident I had gotten past, my pastor would just remind me that I was "a yo-yo on an elevator." I might be doing, dealing with, the same thing over and over but each time I was higher up, I had grown a bit since the previous emotional meltdown, for want of a better word.  I was better equipped to understand, to trust, and to recover.

It always reminds me of a poignant line from a beautiful character in a favored show of mine growing up..."we ain't what we should be, we ain't what we're gonna be, but at least we ain't what we were."

It's a beautiful thing to look back and see you are not where you were, but it can be a terrifying thing to look ahead and wonder where you are going to be and if you're even going to make it.  Whether the road ahead is bubbling with excitement like college after high school graduation, moving to a different town, starting a new job or racked with the fearful unknown like carrying forward after a devastating loss or heartbreak or working through an experience or relationship where the outcome is still uncertain, you can rest assured that there is Hope, there is promise of renewal, there is growth that will carry you on through the next thing and next thing proving again that you are held in the hand of a loving God who is ever faithful.

No matter what part of your own cycle you are going through right now, I'll be praying for you.  Pray for me.

opening doors to dark tunnels

Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away, ere break of day,
To claim our long-forgotten gold.
~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Hobbit


If I was to list for you my fears it would be quite an impressive list.  Maybe impressive isn't the right word; depressing, shocking, or embarrassing might better suit the ongoing run of people, places, things, and possible experiences that have in the past and still at times in the present, not to mention unknown ones of the future that shake my faith and shift my eyes to things not given from God (2 Timothy 1:7).

Very high on that list since childhood and beyond lies one that is an inevitable part of everyday, darkness.  Each day it comes like clockwork, when the light of the day is ending, intended to give us the rest and refreshment of sleep, the ability to recoup before the light of the next day appears and we are up and ready to go forth once again in a new day.  

While there are some that seem unaffected by the feeling of shadows that creep in as the light of the day is lost, many others can automatically begin to feel anxious, nervous about the discomfort of darkness, the time of day when the objects around you are not clearly seen and the unknowns of what is happening monumentally outweigh the known that comes through clear sight bathed in light .  Studies have been done that suggest that the "witching hour" all parents are way too familiar with is caused by the ingrain knowledge the the sun is setting and darkness is coming.  

But whether it's a fear of ours or not, it happens on a daily basis and that darkness doesn't just provide the reminder to rest, it also provides a daily reminder of how it feels to be without light.  

The thing with darkness, is that it isn't just the time of day that comes after the beautiful sky a sunset brings, it's every part of the day, every part of a life, where the Light of Christ does not reign.  

As a believer I know the Truth that I am not alone.  I know the Truth that If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alive to You." (Psalm 139:11-12).  The problem comes when I believe the fears, believe the lies thrown in the darkness, whether the literal or figurative, and don't wait for the Truth to float up.

But also as a believer, it's not enough to just know there is light in the darkness, but to go into the darkness carrying the Light you've been given.  Through a trip to Romania God rocked my heart with a tangible to go with Matthew 5:14-16...

I like to live in a bubble of happiness and block out the evil and scariness of the world, but when you come down to it that is just naivety, ignorance, and selfishness.  There is evil in this world.  Satan is real and has a real mission.  I always say I want to be a light in the darkness but I can't be a light in the darkness if I'm not in the dark!  

Life is full of God given opportunities to open the doors to dark tunnels and step down into the depths carrying with you the only Light you need.  

Those opportunities come in overwhelming variety.  For some it's walking through cancer, of their own or a loved one, and instead of succumbing to the dark dread, not only trusting God through it all but pouring His love on the ones who are beside you on the same road.  For others it's investing time in the lives of high schoolers in what on the surface appears to be a time of loud with crazy music and games on the side but at the heart is Jesus streaming from one onto another in the midst of the rocky roads of pre-adulthood.  

There is not enough time or page space to describe the infinite doors that can be opened to search in darkness.  One only has to step out of the safety of their front door, into the world around them to find an opportunity.  Everyone has a story.  Everyone has a hurt.  If you are sitting desperate to find a place to help, a way to shine, just pray.  It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him. (Daniel 2:22)  Simply not entering into the negative conversations, but instead bringing a full heart driven by love into your workplace is a noticed shining and a less scary way for some to begin. 

Just remember it is all done with help, all done through Christ, all done with His Light in you and not your own.  "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off.  You sit still and trust the engineer."  ~Corrie Ten Boom

For us, there is a new dark tunnel emerging through a door that is just beginning to be opened.  A door many others have already begun the trek into and others that are barely peeking through along with us.  The dark tunnel into foster care is quite new, as in we are only preparing to even be allowed to walk through, but already we see it will be going deeper than we could have ever comprehended and will reach a depth that our finite minds might never be able to truly comprehend.  But in it, just as in all the others, is the promise of Hope.  The promise that the battle has already been won and that we are just blessed to be allowed on the journey to be used to show that victory to others.

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien 

That greatness can only grow when love is shown, when Light is spread, when the sadness mixes with the joy.  I truly hope you see the Light you've been given in your own darkness, I hope you know the door God is calling you to open, I hope you see how He is walking in front of you, beside you and behind you into the depths.  I hope you follow carrying Light and Hope with you.  I hope these things for you because I first desperately hope for them for myself.  None of us are alone in it.

Pray for me, I'll be praying for you.

could have

Spring schedules are bursting just as much as the gardens around me with new things popping up and the same familiar ones growing bigger.  It's almost May.  It's almost the end of the school year, so this is to be expected no matter how much I try, kind of like childbirth, to block out the memories from the previous year.

Today's schedule included a first grade field trip to the zoo, piano lessons, a quick dinner out and a baseball game complete with an hour long warm up then will end with finally getting back home to get boys in bed before putting away all the laundry and hopefully holding an intelligent conversation with my husband before passing out in bed and waking up to tackle tomorrow's to-dos. 

I'm even getting a jump start as I'm writing on a Tuesday while listening through the wall to a duet of This Land is Your Land that my oldest is practicing with his piano buddy for an upcoming recital.  Taking advantage of a brief quiet moment to center my mind and point my heart towards the One who is infinitely bigger than me brings an instantaneous peace to the scurry and instead highlights the joys and opportunities that come from delving into community.

He keeps me in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.  Isaiah's words are a permanent fixture on my body so that they will one day become a permanent fixture in my heart.

Last week after thinking about deeper conversation, a deeper conversation occurred.  Pondering often encourages us to put those thoughts into practice and more often than not we are blessed with feeling the presence of God in return.  Not that He wasn't there to begin with but that our hearts are ready and willing to search and see and notice the effect of being in His presence.

I wish I could remember how the topic came to be, but like most worthwhile conversations it was a twisting maze of rabbit trails that stopped with an ever so brief sharing focused on thankfulness and what could have been before blasting off to the next topic at hand.  It's amazing what ground two women can cover in an hour or so of stolen time.  It's also amazing what can stick with you out of countless other things.

Triggered by whatever conversation was happening, from across the table my friend looked at me and said "I could have...and then relayed a possible negative consequence to choices made earlier in life. I in turn responded with my own equally negative outcome that could have drastically altered every part of who I am today and where I live. And so went, both female brains going back and forth as we said and thought about all the things that could have been that aren't.

Could haves are too often used for regrets.  Things we should have done but didn't, wanted to do but were too scared, did but wish we'd never, until we live life wishing for time back and never seeing the beauty in what we were able to live, and with whom we are able to live it.

Non stop since last week I have been thinking and listing over and over the things that could have been that I'm so thankful weren't and recognizes the new ones that occur on a daily basis.  The times I wasn't paying close attention that could have resulted in a car accident.  The stupid teenage decisions I made that could have resulted in more than high school heartbreak or bad memories.  The times my words and actions were not filled with love and kindness but relationships remained intact.  The times I ignored instead of helped but saw another helper come alongside instead reminding me to step out next when the opportunity arose again.  The times I didn't behave like a woman whose heart has been redeemed but felt loved and forgiven despite my sinfulness.  In all these times and many more being given grace, love, and mercy instead of what was deserved, being shown the true gospel over and over because it needs to be spoken to us everyday.

There are plenty of opportunities to learn from mistakes, to take the consequences from your choices and weigh them and allow them to change you and change others around you from example.  Too often it seems as if learning the hard way is a special skill that my love and I possess and there are many who are sailing in the same boat.  But for every hard consequence is a saving grace.  While we are asked to be thankful in all things, no matter the angle from which you look, these times spent feeling truly and deeply thankful for what could have been, for the grace given and tragedy avoided, for the tangible representation of slow to anger and abounding in love, draw you even deeper into relationship with your Heavenly Father as you see His character played out in your life.

Take a moment in the bustling of Spring and find a could-have-been that didn't, a non-coincidental, completely and sovereignly planned instance of an outpouring of grace, love, and mercy.  The more you look the more you'll find until you can't help but sit in silent awe at the way in which you are loved and cared for as you walk with Him.

Even in the hardest of hard, especially in that, search and find the could haves in your life and the life of those around you.  He has never left you or forsaken you.

I hope you'll try it and as you do, I'll be praying for you.  Pray for me.