galatians and gilmore girls

It's Tuesday!  As I share this weekly identity verse that tells me whose I am and reminds me of what I am because of it, I pray that it not only helps me on my journey but encourages you on whatever path God is sending you down.  

Somehow in the midst of my college career and early working years I completely missed the show Gilmore Girls.  It came at the perfect time, right at the beginning of freshman year and stopped right after I became a mama.  But still I missed it.  One might consider it a tragedy, or at least an entertainment blunder.  Maybe I was just too excited to finally be watching everything I wasn't allowed to at home (a.k.a Dawson's Creek and Friends) to research anything new.  Plus, there was that brief obsession with 7th Heaven during my sophomore year when I was convinced that Barry Watson, and his counterpart Matt Camden, was the most perfect boy ever.

Whatever the reason, I am making amends now after being chastised by not just one friend but MANY who were shocked, and I am not kidding SHOCKED, by the fact that I had never seen it.  It is the perfect show for you, they said.  If there is one person who I would think would be a huge GG fan it's you they said.  Four seasons in and they were pretty much on target.  Isn't it nice when your friends just know you!  I mean what is not to love.  Small town, beautiful New England setting, Edward Hermann, a fun mom and daughter, whitty sarcasm, and I could go on.   

I love almost everything about it but there is just one thing, besides the fact that Lorelei and Rory are known for how much they eat yet have only physically taken about 5 bites of actual food so far, that always gets me.  I'm almost afraid to say it because it will arch the backs of feminists everywhere, but the one thing that gets to me is the fierce independence of Lorelei.  Don't read this the wrong way, independence is a fantastic quality, but like anything it can become twisted and lead you down a path that looks just enough like the right one that you don't know your going to get lost in a place that looks a little more like selfishness or at least self righteousness.

I know I'm supposed to watch it in awe of this girl who found herself pregnant and broke out of her strict and Stepford type upbringing to make it on her own and be her own person so she could raise her daughter in a home of unconditional love, and yes that was a very brave and beautiful thing to do.  But sometimes I look at the scenarios and I listen to the arguments and it starts me thinking of how hard is to keep trying to do it all on your own.  When you are so hell bent on doing it yourself exactly how you want it to be done, you can't help but hinder your own growth and hurt others in the process.  Even if those others are crazy moms like Emily Gilmore.  

Watching it now as opposed to at age 18-25 has me looking at it from this different perspective because I don't think that young thing sitting in a trailer in Auburn would have noticed then.  Then again maybe I would have noticed it and learned a valuable lesson much sooner than my current 33 year old self has just learned when I read... 

 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Galatians 2:20

When rereading this very familiar identity verses for a Galatians study, God smacked me in the face with the oh so frustrating news that I am indeed a Lorelei Gilmore.  While Zach has said and then said again when I mentioned it to him that my independence (read not being indecisive, clingy, and in need of someone to tell me everything) was one of the qualities that attracted him to me.  It can am become an independence that looks like a stubborn person who insists on trying to do things herself.  Who has ideas and plans swimming around in her head that she thinks are the way to go, the only way to go and quite honestly gets hurt if you don't think I am capable of handling it.  All I could envision when reading the words that I no longer live but that it's Christ that lives in me is the number of times that I shove him out of the way to live first.  I ignore His Spirit and His ability to get it done and try to get it done first to prove something to myself, to God, to everyone.  

The truth is I have nothing to prove because the only thing I would accomplish proving is how much in need of Him I am.  The old me is gone, praise God, and I have Christ who lives in me and for me before God, and the only thing I have to do is so simple - have faith in the Son.  Faith in not some random person, but in the One who LOVES me and SACRIFICED himself for me.  It's such a simple concept that I so often try to complicate with my own thoughts and agenda.  Oh to live truly and completely by faith in the One who can accomplish all things.  In the meantime I continue to pray that He will strip me of myself so I will truly see I belong to Him.

Any more Loreleis out there?