for when you need to remember what you are given

There is something about being around small children that will cause you to question your sanity. They do not have to have come directly from your body or call you mom, nor does it need to be the same sweet small person following you around.  All that is required is for one or more to be a constant part of your life in some form or fashion. The continued presence of such small people with their energy and words and lack of filters and impulsiveness and overall beautiful not at all self-controlled thirst for life and the actions that are produced from that miniature minded carpe diem philosophy effects your brain cells in a way that causes them to flit away almost without being noticed until you try to speak an intellectual thought without time to process your words before they are let loose.

As a former babysitter, dance teacher, school teacher, and now mom, there have been a slew of wonderful children in my life and therefore a mass exodus of brain cells that once had my back when attempting to produce intellectual thoughts.  Now, and I am hoping you can relate, phrases will at times just spill out of my mouth that cause me to literally stop in my tracks and truly wonder if I have in fact finally gone crazy.  The carefree teenager and young adult mind of this mid thirties woman never imagined I would utter the phrase "We do NOT wash our hair in the toilet."  Never imagined I would stand in confusion trying to discern why I would have strung any of the commands together that I had just given and what on earth did they mean anyway.  I have felt, on more than one occasion, much like Ernest T. Bass learning to read and write.  Nohuntbewareopenandclosenocredit can sound like more Shakespeare than the times when my words come tumbling out in a hurried directive towards a blonde boy or three.

Then, there are those purposeful nonsense words you say, ones that can only be uttered at children for fear of losing your adulthood membership card when said aloud to anyone over 4'6".  Just last week while sitting in the lobby of our youngest's preschool, the other parents and I giggled to each other when hearing a lovely teacher sing a song to her three year olds about flushing the potty and washing their hands.  Every part of me was thankful for her desire to remind and teach about proper hygiene, but that sing song direction initiated a waterfall in my thoughts of phrase after phrase I and others have used to teach and remind depending on the situation at hand.

The one phrase that came before any others is one I guarantee you have heard and possibly said, not only to a child but maybe even to yourself.

You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit.

Its usefulness in the situations in the lives of children is countless.  Its lessons valuable.  Be thankful for what you are given.  Be content.  Do not compare what you have in your possession to what is in the hand of the one next to you.  Have self control in your reactions.  Do not pitch a fit over something that has just been handed to you free of charge.  Adults have uttered these words for so long that children will say them to each other, say them to themselves, and if the said grown up is honest, they have had to turn this phrase around on themselves as well.

In daily life on this world, it is a helpful rhyme that gets quickly to the point and nips many things in the bud before tantrums arise, but somewhere along the line, this quick child-rearing colloquialism can at times shift the view of who God is in our lives.  I have caught myself equating God with a teacher passing out suckers at the end of the day, reaching into the bag with no rhyme or reason, and handing out what happened to be in His hand to the next one waiting in line all the time reminding me that I get what I get so don't pitch a fit.

Forgive me for my doubt of your perfect plan.  Forgive me for my lack of Trust.  Forgive me for forgetting at times the Truth of who and what You are, Creator, Omniscient, God with me.  Forgive me for not remembering your Love.  For not remembering I am your Special Possession.

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:13)  He is intentional, specifically designing your heart and life to work out His good for the Kingdom.  He is not random.  You do not just get what you get.  You get what you are given.  You get what He gives.  

What He gives is abounding Love (Ps. 86:15), divinely orchestrated gifts from the Spirit (1 Cor. 12), every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3), a holy life --not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace (2 Tim 1:9)

And even better--maybe not better but just as amazing--is the fact that we are told to ask, to make our heart known, then sit as the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guards are hearts and minds then to Trust what comes next because the Lord is at hand. [paraphrase of Phil 4:5-7]

Semantics are important, different ways of phrasing can truly change how a person responds to your instruction or advice, but this is more than semantics, this is better understanding of who God is in your life and who you are because of Him.

We don't get.  We are given to by an Almighty Father.  And we are given so that we can give in return.

Everything you come across in life is ordained and allowed, nothing comes as a surprise to the one holding you in His hands.  It will not all be easy, but it will not all be hard.  It will not all be what you may have requested or imagined, but it will all draw you to Him in life altering, heart altering, magnificent ways.

Your world may even fall apart, but I promise it will get rebuilt.  Slowly or quickly, painfully or peacefully, pieces will come together and what was once crumbling will be made strong when it is built on the Cornerstone.  And you can use all of it to advance the gospel (phil 1:12) and to declare His glory (Ps. 96:3).  

Don't think about what you get, think about what and who you have been given.

Praying faithfully for you today, pray for me.

on purpose

Do you have any words or phrases that make you cringe?  Ones, that when you hear them, your shoulders shrug up your head tilts uncomfortably sideways and you shiver just a bit.  In early adulthood I met a friend who hated the word moist.  Seemed odd to me since that's a word I would use to describe yummy baked goods, but I soon discovered that it was a familiar word to have an aversion too.  You learn new things every day.

As for me, I tend to have similar reactions around buzzwords, words that all of a sudden become trendy and therefore get thrown around by anyone and everyone.  The judgmental part of me can assume it's an act needed to assist in integrating a cool group by proving you know the lingo.  The sympathetic part of me wonders if it's a ruse used to sound as intelligent as everyone else in the group discussing current events when inside you might feel as if you are way over your head.  Of course the majority probably truly do understand and desire to use the phrase because it is the best word for the occasion, but it takes one to know one and as I honestly tend to fall into the first two categories, the third always seems far fetched--transparency at its finest.

When I started college the trendy word was random.  Not like a random word, but the actual word random.  Whether in response to what you did last night, where you were going after class, or who you saw from your hometown, a proper response could always be "whoa that's so random." I vividly remember feeling like I had entered a world of adult conversation and had never felt so inept by my naivete and non world wise vocabulary.  Oh Freshman year...

In my teaching world, the buzzword of the day was paradigm shift.  My principal found a way to work it in every conversation and said it almost as much as piggyback which I may or may not have kept up with by tally marks on faculty agendas next to a hand drawn pig complete with curly tail.

The Christian world is no different.  Though the Word of God is inerrant and never changes, the words Christians tend to bring out of it to focus on, throw around, and share can most definitely change.  One such word that I have self professed to giving me the reaction I mentioned earlier has been on the top of that list for the last few years, at least in the realm of believers I have contact with, and it is intentional or intentionality as some may say.

I understand its meaning, but in the sea of conversations it had been tossed into, commands given because of it, and flags waving to make sure others could see whomever's intentional steps without seeing much action behind the speak, that meaning began to become lost on me.  One day a list, of course a list, was made in my notebook of all the synonyms I could think of for intentional; purposeful, thoughtful, considered, preplanned, intended, designed, and voluntary all lined up and took their places on the page hoping that my stubborn mind would make the automatic shift to those when confronted with "that word" in conversation and I could meditate on that instead.

To be quite honest, it actually worked. Though semantics is a bigger deal than some may think, the real reason it worked wasn't because my mind was focused on a synonym, but because my heart was focused upon all of them.  Who cares what word was used, the care is that the heart was actively pursuing a direction that God called it to go towards.

To be intentional is to do something on purpose, to do something deliberately, and when used to describe our walk in Faith it is quite a beautiful thought with an even more beautiful outcome. Spending each step, each decision, each moment to deliberately, on purpose, glorify God in all you do, praise Him in everything, think about the effect before plowing through to the next cause, the next place, time, meeting, or conversation, and understanding how light can be carried through the important and through the mundane is gospel in tangible form.  Faith without deeds is dead (James 2:17), intentionality makes Faith come alive to those around you.  

While it is always a hope to encourage whomever blesses me enough to read my words, the purpose always begins because of a needed pep talk to myself.  This time last year as summer was beginning, the calendar was full, the summer fun list created, and as it always does time zoomed past with most everything checked off the list, but as I sat alone on the first day of school I realized one of the most important things that had been missing those last couple months, quiet.

Quiet in the midst of chaos is most definitely achievable, but without the deliberate, on purpose, intentionality it is almost impossible.

Before the next two months go whirling past in a swirl of sky, sun, and green I am praying that God continues to pull our hearts to Him so we, in whatever tasks this summer holds, can intentionally point others to Him as well.

Pray for me, I'll be praying for you.

its not just semantics

It's been said that the words you use when you speak to your dog mean very little.  As long as your words are said in a joyful, sing song tone your canine friend will jump in your lap, cuddle up, attempt to cover you with kisses and think they are loved beyond all reason.  For example, if you say, "hey you stupid thing you're so gross and hairy and annoying, yes you are!" in that lovable way that even the toughest of tough can conjure up with their furry friends then you are giving them words of complete affirmation because the sound they hear is full of love and appreciation.  My late golden retriever daughter Daisy was often on the other side of less than loving words dripping with affection.

It's not that easy with the human kind.  Yes, the tone of our words absolutely does matter and that is a lesson we all learn and usually the hard way as we get hurt or hurt others with a sharper tongue than anticipated or with one that was sharpened just for the occasion.  Yes, it's true that you will catch more bees with honey and no one is better at that than the truly southern lady or the British aristocracy, both having the uncanny ability to put you in your place without losing their polished sense of decorum.

Beyond the way our voice tumbles forth, beyond the sing song and the sugars and the bless your hearts, are the phrases we put together to share our thoughts or advice or commands.  The sounds of my voice can not cover up the heart behind my words and so it goes with everyone else as well.  Out of the mouth your heart speaks (Matt 15:18) and no amount of honey can sweeten words that come from a heart not abiding in the love of Christ and desiring to carry that forward.

What feels like ages ago, and actually was if I'm being honest with myself, was a young twenty something girl attempting to mold young second grade minds.  It took about a week before a verse was printed out in color and BOLD print and taped to a desk never to be removed even when that job was abandoned for a life at home with a blond baby boy.  There for me to look at every time I needed it, which was every second of the day, was Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

This was not a banner for my Christian holiness but a necessary and sometimes desperate attempt to keep myself in line with the Spirit and not give into my flesh when children act how they will in fact act, when parents doubt your abilities, and when you are tempted to be sucked in to the other adults around you whose desire to vent is way too tempting.

That verse has stuck with me.  It lives inside my head and appears quite frequently, mostly when I'm begging for the reminder and occasionally when I'd rather it leave me alone so the words welling within me can erupt and give me that brief bit of satisfaction before the after effects set in.  It encourages me when I'd rather hide from conversation than confront it.  It aids me as I search for words to to help and build. It allows me to be silent and listen instead as other's are carrying out it's commands in my life.

It's a daily ritual for me to ask my boys, after they have said something, to try again, to rephrase whatever words they shared in a better way to get the outcome they really desire.  Even in those marital discussions that we like to pretend aren't really arguments, I have been known to respond with "...but if you had just said it in this way I wouldn't have gotten so upset."  Most often though it's me looking back at my words, at my responses, at the ways I could have rephrased to be a help instead of part of the problem, to build up and not be unwholesome.

Our words carry weight.  Our words have the ability to harm and to heal.  And if given without thought, without prayer, without purpose, they will explode into the air missing important targets and leaving shrapnel in places that might take years to discover, no matter the voice that accompanied them.  

The world may call this semantics, changing our words for greater appeal.  I think God calls it speaking the truth in love (Eph 4:15).  Truth doesn't mean blunt honesty with no thought of another's feelings.  Just as love does not mean avoiding a topic because of affection or saying only what people want to hear.  The two must go together as you love someone enough to bring them honesty in a caring way, the honest words they need and you need to grow into a closer relationship with each other and in a closer relationship with Christ.

Believe me when I say you do not want to speak love without truth because consequences come as you try to please and appease instead of confidently standing up for yourself or instead of confronting another in their sin for fear that anger and defensiveness could be the result.  I am an example in more situations than one, a recovering people pleaser with plenty of scars to show for my efforts.  Just as important, is to not spew words of truth because you know it's truth without allowing The Spirit to soften them first.  Cuts of criticism do not heal quickly when the soothing act of love is not alongside to assist.

In the end, though,  I will fall short more often than not, but can rest in the Hope I have that I am loved and I am forgiven and that my best efforts and my most massive mistakes can be redeemed by my Creator and used to bring Him glory.

*If you would like to read more in this not so planned series about words please check out these thoughts on words and asking the right questions.  I would love to hear your thoughts!

floodplain

Water is rushing past every view from my home.  If I want to see waterfalls splashing onto rocks and hear the calming sound of a babbling brook I need only stand on the back porch.  The front door will lead me to the simple view of a small river running down one street and then turning the right angle onto another.  The view from my chair, which is the place I am in as I write, leads my eyes to the widest view.  Staring out my favorite window reveals a delta like picture where the small rivers from the separate parts of our yard and the neighbor's behind us all converge to spread out and after flowing 50 feet or so form the twin lakes that the next door neighbor now posseses.

We are in no danger from where we sit, which is something not to be taken for granted.  There are many people across town who live by overflowing rivers and streams that have swelled well past capacity.  In our small community, roads are being closed, crawl spaces are being filled, and foundations are holding their breath as water creeps closer.  The entire southeast and midwest have been experiencing torrential downpour for what seems like weeks leaving yards, belongings, days and moods soggy at best and life threatening at worst.  

Filling yet another rainy day inside is easy for boys who are finally home from Christmas travels and anxious to play with all the new goodies and gadgets they had to quickly leave behind after morning opening was done.  For me, my initial plans to pack up, clean and organize before the new year hits changed instead to holing up in my comfy spot to download pictures, stare out the window and think about the ground that just doesn't seem to be able to soak up anything else.  

I never claimed to be an exciting person, but quiet and consistent are lovable characteristics too, or so I'm told.

If you follow our May Days, you may be familiar with my oxymoronical thankful rant.  A few weeks have gone by and in that time my music loving husband and I were sitting in a car when he asked me to sit and listen to a new song by one of my personal favs, Sara Groves.  She has a knack for writing songs that will surely be on the soundtrack of my life.  I sat, as commanded, listening intently about hearts that are built on floodplains.  The head of the nail was indeed hit.

No matter what pictures we conjure up in our heads, deep down we know nobody has it altogether, but there are those who it seems are constantly knee deep in their own troubles, helping others out of theirs, or at least walking and wading along side. Their actions and hearts keep them living in a floodplain, a place in the midst of where frequent, overwhelming, past capacity experiences occur.  It's not as if the individuals are sitting and waiting for danger to come to live out heroic dreams or hoping for the other shoe to drop so to speak because life with drama is so much more exciting.  The truth comes somewhere in the bridge, because it brings us to our knees.  

Somehow we convince ourselves, I convince myself, that troubles come from punishment alone.  As if there is a giant tit for tat system that must remain tied at all times.  When truly it comes just because this is not our true home, and God apologizes not at all for reminding us through a variety of things where we are created to be and long for, a lesson that tends to be the ending point of all my questioning.  Counting it all joy comes from being intimate with your creator and savior, being on your knees in lament and thankfulness alike.  Being drawn closer through conversation and sharing. As a child of God lessons learned are not so much because of what we see, experience, and learn but what we are shown, brought through, and taught.  Semantics maybe, but Truth for sure.

Living a life of faith in Christ is not a paved road to paradise as Christian learned frequently in the classic Pilgrim's Progress.  It's a rocky, curvy, covered with roots, dangers, and sometimes human-eating trolls road.  Kyle Idleman warned us that "following Jesus will cost us something...it always costs us something" when he was questioning a Christ follower's true commitment in Not A Fan.  And Jesus himself was more than a little upfront when in the gospels he told that rich young ruler that eternal life would come from giving up all he had to follow Him.  (Mark 10, Matthew 19, Luke 18)

Try as I might to store up pretty treasures on earth and to race as fast as I can to higher ground, it's not where my heart is calling me to go, it's not where God is commanding me to go.  When I look inside it's very similar to the view outside my window.  This stretch of grass that looks as if it can't handle one more thing poured upon it, will in fact soak in the storm, soften from the experience, and grow greener full of faith that when the next thing comes it will be no different.  Although I make no promises that there won't be some angry stomping in the puddles, I rejoice because I have Truth that brings Hope.  My heart is not my own, it was purchased long ago, and for now it's residence is the floodplains on the earth until I'm called Home.

"Floodplain"

Some hearts are built on a floodplain
Keeping one eye on the sky for rain
You work for the ground that gets washed away
When you live closer

Closer to the life and the ebb and flow
Closer to the edge of I don’t know
Closer to that’s the way it goes
Some hearts are built on a floodplain

And it’s easy to sigh on a high bluff
Look down and ask when you’ve had enough
Will you have the sense to come on up
Or will you stay closer

Closer to the danger and the rolling deep
Closer to the run and the losing streak
And what brings us to our knees
Some hearts live here

Oh the river it rushes to madness
And the water it spreads like sadness
And there’s no high ground
And there’s no high ground
Closer to the danger and the rolling deep
Closer to the run and the losing streak
And what brings us to our knees

Closer to the life and the ebb and flow
Closer to the edge of I don’t know
Closer to Lord please send a boat
Some hearts are built here

because you need to remember why you started

Once upon a time, before he reached his current level of maturity and contentment in his wisdom, my husband was 'famous' for saying he had read certain books when he truly had not.  In order to seem just as well-read as others in our small group he would always respond with oh yeah that's a good one when someone would talk about a very deep spiritual book they had read.  The day he finally confessed this, in the same small group environment, was hard for him I'm sure, but ended up being hilarious because it was not the big deal he had built up in his head.  No one automatically doubted his opinions because he had not completed the nonexistent list of required reads written by spiritual giant in order to become a spiritual giant.  To this day, the subject still comes up occasionally in a lighthearted way.

I am the opposite, I never claim to read something I have not, but I will completely avoid reading certain books or authors out of fear that I won't be able to grasp their points.  If I don't read them, then I won't have to face that fact that I'm not as smart as another who not only read it but can recount and build upon the philosophical meanings.  No, neither one of us was going about it the right way.

Because of this fear there are many things I have had on my to read list that have stayed there, one of which was A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson.  His passing this week and the many beautiful words others have said about him and his life's work inspired me to finally pick up this book that has been sitting on my night stand since last Christmas--my courage had lasted only long enough to put it on my wishlist.  It took exactly one paragraph for me to get hooked and exactly one day for me to be inspired in my own writing from reading his.

On page 1 of chapter 1--I told you it didn't take long--he categorizes the difficulties we face into three categories.  One category is the world and our inability to recognize the world's temptations in our lives and how, in sometimes subtle ways, it changes the way we live.

I talk a lot about the world and the way it defines words differently than how God defined them, words like joy and hope and that it's not just semantics, because how you say something to another is just as important as understanding the true meaning behind what you are trying to say.  And then there was last week, and the concept of looking for the beauty and purpose of where you are instead of letting the world convince you that another place is always better.

Peterson says that "one aspect of world that I have been able to identify as harmful to Christians is the assumption that anything worthwhile can be acquired at once."  As we live lives where we can fail over and over or get side tracked again and again which leads to questioning and doubts that we really are on the right path, we can't see the beauty of now without remembering why we started that way in the first place.

We do not start our jobs, we do not open new businesses, we do not initiate new ventures without being spurred on by something.  Whether it was a dream we always held in our hearts to accomplish, a calling we felt placed heavily on our hearts, or a gift that was given to us through the spirit that we felt compelled to use, we all started with excitement and dedication to the task.  Like that fresh faced early adult, we skipped in the world with our ideals and aspirations ready to conquer, assuming like Peterson said, it could be acquired at once because of the nobility of its cause.

So what happened?  Adversity.  You inevitably faced adversity.  Setbacks, challenges, failures, pitfalls, misfortunes, road blocks.  Whatever the word, and whatever the degree, something stood in the way and left you reconsidering not just your current state, but your entire existence in your present field. 

As you sit, in the middle of the questions and doubts, there are two choices.  The first is to quit and start over with something completely new and maybe, at times, that really is the right choice, but not because you failed but because you were guided elsewhere.  The second is to stop and remember why you started.

That idealistic youngster isn't someone to laugh at, it's someone to learn from because they hold the initial information, the reason for beginning.  Taking your early self's initiative and pairing it with your experienced self's knowledge creates the person God will used to accomplish the initial task He planned for you. 

If you find yourself bogged down in a place that began as a dream, but has begun to feel as the opposite I want to give you two steps to follow.

1.  Identify what is weighing you down

     Do not ignore the hardships, the little or big things that are standing in the way, whether it is a person, your attitude, finances, etc, give each and every one of them a name.  Call them out, write them down, look at them.  They, tangible or intangible, are real and until you seem them you cannot stand against them.

2.  Identify why you started

     Follow the trail back to the beginning.  What initiated your desire to start, what did you want to accomplish, what gift of grace lies in your skill set that made you the exact person God desired to finish this work. 

Your dream, calling, and/or gift did not run out or disappear, it is just buried in the muck of the world.

There is a reason Adversity is a word used by every player and every coach in every post-game interview ever done, because it is every where in every situation on any given day.  Just this morning my CrossFit coach was explaining his current training method as adversity training, putting our bodies through short periods of intense work and then rest so that they can learn to handle harder things in the future. 

God is training our hearts and minds to be able to, through Him, accomplish short periods of hard work so that we can handle harder things in the future.  The lie of the world that everything worthwhile is easy to accomplish is there so that we will quit doing the worthwhile things when they become hard.  But if you remember the words of Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own, "the hard is what makes it great."

Paul knew this and reminded the churches of it often.  Keep striving under persecution, because that is spreading the gospel.  Do not worry about what I (Paul) have been through, what has happened to me has helped progress the gospel.  Our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed later.

Denzel Washington, in an acceptance speech at the NAACP Image Awards, spoke of striving forward and said if you "fall down seven times, get up eight."  Just do not try to get up on your own.

The work you are doing is Good work and God will complete it in you.  Let the beginning callings spur you through the current muck to get to the glory, His glory, revealing ending.

I am praying that you can remember, pray for me.