because you need to remember why you started

Once upon a time, before he reached his current level of maturity and contentment in his wisdom, my husband was 'famous' for saying he had read certain books when he truly had not.  In order to seem just as well-read as others in our small group he would always respond with oh yeah that's a good one when someone would talk about a very deep spiritual book they had read.  The day he finally confessed this, in the same small group environment, was hard for him I'm sure, but ended up being hilarious because it was not the big deal he had built up in his head.  No one automatically doubted his opinions because he had not completed the nonexistent list of required reads written by spiritual giant in order to become a spiritual giant.  To this day, the subject still comes up occasionally in a lighthearted way.

I am the opposite, I never claim to read something I have not, but I will completely avoid reading certain books or authors out of fear that I won't be able to grasp their points.  If I don't read them, then I won't have to face that fact that I'm not as smart as another who not only read it but can recount and build upon the philosophical meanings.  No, neither one of us was going about it the right way.

Because of this fear there are many things I have had on my to read list that have stayed there, one of which was A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson.  His passing this week and the many beautiful words others have said about him and his life's work inspired me to finally pick up this book that has been sitting on my night stand since last Christmas--my courage had lasted only long enough to put it on my wishlist.  It took exactly one paragraph for me to get hooked and exactly one day for me to be inspired in my own writing from reading his.

On page 1 of chapter 1--I told you it didn't take long--he categorizes the difficulties we face into three categories.  One category is the world and our inability to recognize the world's temptations in our lives and how, in sometimes subtle ways, it changes the way we live.

I talk a lot about the world and the way it defines words differently than how God defined them, words like joy and hope and that it's not just semantics, because how you say something to another is just as important as understanding the true meaning behind what you are trying to say.  And then there was last week, and the concept of looking for the beauty and purpose of where you are instead of letting the world convince you that another place is always better.

Peterson says that "one aspect of world that I have been able to identify as harmful to Christians is the assumption that anything worthwhile can be acquired at once."  As we live lives where we can fail over and over or get side tracked again and again which leads to questioning and doubts that we really are on the right path, we can't see the beauty of now without remembering why we started that way in the first place.

We do not start our jobs, we do not open new businesses, we do not initiate new ventures without being spurred on by something.  Whether it was a dream we always held in our hearts to accomplish, a calling we felt placed heavily on our hearts, or a gift that was given to us through the spirit that we felt compelled to use, we all started with excitement and dedication to the task.  Like that fresh faced early adult, we skipped in the world with our ideals and aspirations ready to conquer, assuming like Peterson said, it could be acquired at once because of the nobility of its cause.

So what happened?  Adversity.  You inevitably faced adversity.  Setbacks, challenges, failures, pitfalls, misfortunes, road blocks.  Whatever the word, and whatever the degree, something stood in the way and left you reconsidering not just your current state, but your entire existence in your present field. 

As you sit, in the middle of the questions and doubts, there are two choices.  The first is to quit and start over with something completely new and maybe, at times, that really is the right choice, but not because you failed but because you were guided elsewhere.  The second is to stop and remember why you started.

That idealistic youngster isn't someone to laugh at, it's someone to learn from because they hold the initial information, the reason for beginning.  Taking your early self's initiative and pairing it with your experienced self's knowledge creates the person God will used to accomplish the initial task He planned for you. 

If you find yourself bogged down in a place that began as a dream, but has begun to feel as the opposite I want to give you two steps to follow.

1.  Identify what is weighing you down

     Do not ignore the hardships, the little or big things that are standing in the way, whether it is a person, your attitude, finances, etc, give each and every one of them a name.  Call them out, write them down, look at them.  They, tangible or intangible, are real and until you seem them you cannot stand against them.

2.  Identify why you started

     Follow the trail back to the beginning.  What initiated your desire to start, what did you want to accomplish, what gift of grace lies in your skill set that made you the exact person God desired to finish this work. 

Your dream, calling, and/or gift did not run out or disappear, it is just buried in the muck of the world.

There is a reason Adversity is a word used by every player and every coach in every post-game interview ever done, because it is every where in every situation on any given day.  Just this morning my CrossFit coach was explaining his current training method as adversity training, putting our bodies through short periods of intense work and then rest so that they can learn to handle harder things in the future. 

God is training our hearts and minds to be able to, through Him, accomplish short periods of hard work so that we can handle harder things in the future.  The lie of the world that everything worthwhile is easy to accomplish is there so that we will quit doing the worthwhile things when they become hard.  But if you remember the words of Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own, "the hard is what makes it great."

Paul knew this and reminded the churches of it often.  Keep striving under persecution, because that is spreading the gospel.  Do not worry about what I (Paul) have been through, what has happened to me has helped progress the gospel.  Our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed later.

Denzel Washington, in an acceptance speech at the NAACP Image Awards, spoke of striving forward and said if you "fall down seven times, get up eight."  Just do not try to get up on your own.

The work you are doing is Good work and God will complete it in you.  Let the beginning callings spur you through the current muck to get to the glory, His glory, revealing ending.

I am praying that you can remember, pray for me.

for when you need to pay attention to what you already have

Arches National Park and Canyonlands National Park are located in southern Utah on either side of a town called Moab.  Our family of five, feet donned in brand new hiking boots, took one step after another over the red rocks and sand to take in views of and around arches created by God through the natural elements of wind and rain.  Decades upon decades, centuries upon centuries have slowly at times and quickly at others shaped a landscape that is ever changing and defied our sense of gravity as huge rock are upheld in ways that seem to be impossible because of the smallness of the pillars that keep them there.

From this land of red that towers over everything around it, we drove north to the area surrounding another natural phenomenon, a salt lake no where near an ocean.  The mountains here towered as well, but instead of the red of the south you could see the snow caps vibrantly contrasting against the dark gray of the rock and the green of the trees.  On a hike, that pretty much went straight up, we traveled from fall to winter and were greeted with a Narnia-like atmosphere as we reached the snow line as clumps of white clung to branches and flakes fell on our faces.  At the end we were given the breathtaking--and not just because of the cold--view of a mountain lake surrounded by snow reflecting the peaks in its waters.

After spending five days across the country in an area that touts one gorgeous view after another, it is easy for your heart to find fault in where you are or to find longing to be elsewhere.  I am ashamed to say that when we were in the airport on our way home and our sweet son wondered which passengers around us were here to come home and which were here to visit I scoffed that I wouldn't think anyone flew across the country just to visit Atlanta.  I, in that moment, crushed a bit of his spirit and love for a place that he still finds joy in visiting and gave an example of judgement and displeasure that I do not want to instill in their minds and hearts.

When we go somewhere, whether across the country or just a new friend's home, two reactions can occur, we either look down on it because it is not as good as where we are from or we elevate it because we think it is way better than what we have.  The goal would be to enjoy the beauty of other places or dig to find the beauty in other places while being able to simultaneously do both in your own backyard as well.  Whatever side we are standing on, we need to remember that every patch of grass has a weed or two and that any empty lot can hold a treasure inside.

When talking to the relative we stayed with a few of our nights, I learned that there were million dollar homes nearby whose views were nothing but factories and smoke stacks, that there are specific months of the year where they know they will not be able to see the mountains because the smog is too thick, and that there are certain sides of town that you do not want to live on, not because of crime or poor school districts, but because you will be swarmed by bugs the minute you step outside your door in the summertime.  This information did not take away from the beauty that was there, but it did bring reality to the perfect image my mind had almost instantly created on its own.

Real life, when we were looking at all the beauty the arches had to offer we were doing it wearing rain coats praying for just a bit of blue sky or just a relief from the drops falling in our eyes, but because we had flown across the US we were determined to not let the weather cloud our eyes from the beauty there was to see.  I began to think what if that were my every day, what if I refused to let the the 'weather' tempt my eyes to see anything but the beauty of where I am.

This idea was transferred to a different aspect of life this week while listening to an episode of The Pivot featuring Missy Wallace who founded and leads the Nashville Institute for Faith and Work which helps people see how their given gifts should drive their job search and how using those gifts you have been given can advance the Kingdom in any and every occupation.  When more than a minute is used to explain the way a spreadsheet compares to the character of God, you know she believes wholeheartedly in the concept.

Regardless of the goals we want to achieve and the places that we will be taken in the future, the here and now of where we are is the here and now for a reason and we must search for the beauty of it and our purpose in it.

It is not a coincidence that Colossians was in my reading when we returned home.  At the end of a book that I have read countless times and love so much was a verse that had not yet ever caught my eye.

Pay attention to the ministry you have received in the Lord, so that you can accomplish it. Col. 4:17

This one line was written to a specific person but it is included in this holy text for us all.  We have been given a ministry to be done with the gifts we have been given.  It will not be easy, we will not be perfect at it, there are times where we will look at another in their work and become envious because we think their job is better or easier or more special.  There will be times we elevate ourselves because we think what we are doing is better or easier or more special.  In truth, they are all integral, because there is a need for His people in every aspect of life, every career, every hobby.  In each, His love can be shown and His gospel can be told and the grassroots movement that was started long ago will continue to flourish.

I can be just as thankful and overwhelmed by the beautiful mountains in the west as I am by the pecan trees right outside my door.  I can be just as purposeful to God in the painting of furniture, the typing of words, and the mothering of my children than is the doctor who helps them get better when they are ill.  You are no different.

I am praying for you, praying you see the beauty in the here and now, even if you do still long for the future and praying that you will be able to pay attention to the ministry you have received, so that you can accomplish it.  Pray for me.

Because optimism will fail where hope won't

If it's wrong to learn valuable life lessons through Disney princess movies, I don't want to be right.

Maybe I should rephrase that into a more credible statement.  The gospel is everywhere.  Martin Luther said, "God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars."  So, if it is written in the stars above earth, why not also in the stars above Corona, which just happens to be the fictional Kingdom from the movie Tangled.  If my father in law can quote Rocky movies in his sermons, sharing inner disposition changing lessons courtesy of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider is totally acceptable.

So I'll say it again, if it's wrong to learn valuable life lessons through Disney princess movies, I don't want to be right.

Rapunzel and I have a lot in common, well we have some things in common.  I don't think of her trapped in a tower, held prisoner by a fake mom, but that to her, life in the beginning was filled with happiness, singing, painting, reading, and then doing the same things again over and over with a smiling face because this is life, and you can't change it, so let's look on the bright side while we dance around the room with a chameleon.

But then questions and answers started to not measure up and in one leap from a 'safe' room in the clouds she entered the world and reality hit.  For a bit reality took her down and there she bounced back and forth between what was true and what was not without knowing who and what she was supposed to believe.

I get her, because in a way I was her.  I remember being a super optimistic person who always tried to think the best of everyone, never assumed another was capable of taking advantage of me or others, and that people actually said what they meant as I was wandered through life with my glass half full mindset.  That was, until, a big reality hit and then I was left with a shattered life view and a desito to figure out how to put the pieces back together.

Thankfully, it was a quick turn around to truly understanding that it wasn't my job to be the glue.

As I binge watch Parks and Rec for, I think I've lost count so let's call it, the 100th time, a similar personality can be found in the oh so funny character Chris Traeger.  His seemingly never ending optimism is waning as he is nearing his depths of despair period and I left him just this morning realizing the weight of his mortality as he collapsed on the track while trying to get Andy in shape.  He was desperately trying to solve a problem that we were never created to solve.

Let's face it, there will be days where you want the half full glass you carry around to be filled with something a little bit stronger than water, there will be days where it feels as if hard and difficult fill every second, and when a plucky optimistic voices responds with sunshine and rainbows your desired response is less than loving.

A long analysis of the relationships in the movie Trolls could be inserted here, but I'll spare you...for now.

Optimism is a wonderful character quality that can bring a smile to your face as well as those around you, but optimism does not really mean anything if it's not based upon Truth.  Just as in the familiar scriptures from Corinthians 13 that tell us all the things we can do will be meaningless if we do not have love, all the the bright sides we can muster won't hold up without a true faith.

In Paul Miller's book A Praying Life he calls this type of optimism "Naive Optimism"  "At first glance," he says, "genuine faith and naive optimism appear identical since both foster confidence and hope.  But the similarity is only surface deep.  Genuine faith comes from knowing my heavenly Father loves, enjoys, and cares for me.  Naive optimism is groundless.  It is childlike trust without the loving Father."

Why is this such a big deal?  Because it's a short trip from shattered optimism to heart hardening cynicism.  "You'd think," he also states, "that it would just leave us less optimistic, but we humans don't do neutral well.  We go from seeing the bright side of everything to seeing the dark side of everything."

A life of joy that comes despite your circumstance, a life of finding something to smile about, even when in despair, is reality, but it doesn't come from gumption or personality or a try harder attitude.  This life, this worldview, comes from a life hidden in Christ.  It comes from feet being securely planted in the shadow of His wings.  It comes from knowing the Truth of Psalm 62 that I rest in God alone, my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation and because of that, I will not be shaken.

No empty promises are wanted or needed, just the ones that bring assurance to your soul.

John Piper calls it faith in Future Grace, knowing you can trust the promise that God has plans for you in the future.  I simply call it Hope, living in the present, anticipating the future, because of what Jesus did for me in the past.  He is my bright side, in every scenario.

When those moments come that seem to shatter the optimism you naively built up, don't give up, don't look at all the collateral damage and seek a way to put it together again.  Instead, look harder, past the initial, past the things that are trying to grab your attention with their frustrating ugliness.  Look deep into the picture and find the little thing, the real thing that you need to be setting your eyes on.  Your focus isn't the outside of the ring, your focus is the center, the bulls-eye to your heart.  It is there, in Christ at the center, where you feel the pulse of Hope and when you concentrate there, it will begin to permeate through until you can expand the field of vision back to the shattered pieces and watch as He puts them together again.

Praying for you today, pray for me.

because if you don't tell them, how will they know {September's challenge}

"We live and breathe words..." ~Cassandra Clare

How true is this statement.  Words are very much the life and breath of our days.  They portray our feelings, share our concerns, teach our children, effect our hearts, overwhelm our motherhood, cheer our teams, bring tears at times and smiles at others...I could go on and on.  They, no matter what walk of life, fill our minds to overflowing daily.  Whether those words are read, spoken, thought, signed or even dreamed, our lives are teeming with words to hear, see, and process.

The previous was something shared years ago in a post called "Words" early on in this blog's life.  And recently it has come to mind again as the thoughts of sharing our stories and being transparent with others have been topics of discussion and pondering.   

Writing for others to read can be an intimidating thing and I don't just mean for me.  When you put down words or thoughts in an assignment, a story, a text, a letter, or a quick note, you are taking a piece of your heart and whatever it is full of in that moment and bearing it to the world.  While all words can never be taken back, the written ones are easier to remember than spoken ones because the evidence is before you to be looked at again and again if desired and destroying it requires a purposeful, physical action whether it's just pressing delete or tearing up and burning paper in anger.  I know I can't be the only person who has had an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend bonfire!

While we all have received notes that carry less than positive feelings, we also probably each remember times where left for us or sent to us have been words of full of love, thankfulness, and encouragement.  The best are the ones that come out of the blue.

As we begin to abandon the robotic, social norm answer of how we are and discover ways to be more transparent with others in our everyday conversations we will begin to see and feel how others impact our hearts.  A reader commented with these words when asked a question by a friend if we really should share our hearts with random strangers we just happened to run into during the day...

"...when we are open and honest and honest with people then it might cause them to be more open and honest and help them to share a burden when they might now have otherwise.  It may be a situation where you are definitely out of your comfort zone, however, you may just have the story they need to hear.  So, to answer your question, sometimes you need to open up to people close to you or sometimes you need to open up to a total stranger.  You might be surprised how a total stranger or someone you barely know can minister to you in a profound way and you might minister to them in a way that could change the way they are feeling about themselves and therefore change their life forever!"

When I receive a message or a comment about something I said impacting another in a positive way it doesn't puff of my pride but calms my soul.  Hearing that something you said or did brought peace or joy or understanding or support to another gives you confidence that yes, you are purposeful; yes, God is with you and is using you; yes, you heard and listened and obeyed.  All of these things are true without the response, but as people who were created to be in community, the giving and receiving of words is part of us, part of our given mission.  Proverbs 18:21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Likewise, it is imperative for me to remember that if another's purposefully given words that show appreciation about something I said or did are so impactful in my life, mine to another for the same reason are just as impactful to them.  We do not live in a world of straight lines where we give, another takes and that's the end.  Whether it's positive or negative, what we do creates a cycle.  What we give another always has the potential to effect what they give to the next person.  What I desire to give is love and support to motivate another to continue in the way God has pointed them towards and created them to be so that they can do that for another.

But I know, without Him being the one ruling my heart, there is the potential to create the opposite effect.  That is a fruit, that is not delicious to eat.

So friends, today I have a challenge for you, a task for the month of September that I hope you will not only join in on, but share it with others and then come back and share with me what you did, how it went, or what you learned.

I challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to contact five people.  Think back in life, a week, a year, a decade, to a person who maybe just randomly or maybe completely on purpose spoke something into your life that changed you, something that was said out of the blue or with deep thought that open your eyes to who God made you or in a way you had never seen before.  Find in your memory banks a milestone moment to your heart that was built with just the innocent words of one who did not fear being transparent in a moment.  I know you have them, we all have them.

Step 1:  Pray.  Pray first.  Let the Spirit within your heart guide you to the moment in the person so that the actions and words that come are not from you but from Him.

Step 2:  Write.  Call.  Text.  Whatever.  Reach out and let that person know that this is what they said and it impacted your life more than they would have ever thought, because if you don't tell them, how will they know.

So far on my list is a teacher I had through elementary and middle school, a woman who without knowing has mentored me through really hard life situations, a reader who constantly encourages, a previous employer, and a young child whose smiling face never ceases to brighten my day when I see it.

I am praying for you as we conquer this first challenge An Inner Disposition is setting that you will not only see the cycle that is built from it, but it is one you will want to take on again and again, pray for me.

because when I ask you how you're doing, I really want to know

I had a brilliant idea for a movie, well first it would be a book and then it would be turned into a movie.  You get more out of it that way so I hear, the message lasts longer and reaches more people, more fame piles up.  Obviously, though, the book would still be better than the movie, it always is.

The opening scene would be a woman walking through a door and down a hallway.  Maybe she's in a high rise apartment in New York just getting home from work, maybe she's in her child's school building on her way to a conference, maybe she's just taking a walk around the neighborhood, but regardless of the scene she is walking forward when she comes across another person coming in the opposite direction.  Like all polite people the individual she is passing greets her with a common "hello, how are you?" and then she turns her gaze to the other and PAUSE...

And it is in that pause where the story happens, it is in that slight pause before her response that time stands still.  Her mind flashes back in time rethinking her day, her week, her year and we, as the reader and/or viewer, get to see her story.  We get to see the moment where she walked out of the house without her wallet and phone only to not realize it until the moment the cashier tells her the final total.  We get to see her crying in the car having just hung up the phone after a difficult call.  We get to see her walk out on a job that caused such unprofessional abuse that the money was not worth the pain.  We get to see all the things that are piled on her plate and weighing her down, changing her course of life.  We get to see what is truly on her mind.

And then the end of the movie comes and we are transported back to the hallway, back to the moment she has been asked that familiar question, only to see a polite smile come across her face and hear her say "fine and you?" and then walk past continuing to her destination.

The reason the setting of the story is not important is because it can happen anywhere, does happen everywhere, on a daily, hourly, minutely--pretty sure that's not a word--basis.

"Fine" and "good" are answers we are all too good at giving.  I am reminded of this scenario everywhere.  Recently while pushing a cart full of groceries at Publix, the well mannered stockist, in his well mannered voice, asked how I was doing today.  I responded with the correct" I'm doing well, how about you?" to which he responded "I'm great thank you."  It was a very pleasant exchange that would surely have made his manager happy because at Publix, where shopping is a pleasure, you want your staff to be pleasant.  But, was it true?  For either of us?

Nobody likes to hear someone constantly complain and grump about everything.  Each one of us in our minds can think of that person who we feel is constantly complaining, constantly negative, and wouldn't see a silver lining if it was pointed out to them, but for some reason we have taken our frustration with that one person's behavior and led ourselves to believe that we must never complain, we must never be negative, and in the end what happens is that we keep ourselves from being real.

The hardest place to go through this scenario is at church, and before it seems like I'm being critical, I don't mean my particular church specifically, I mean Church with a capital C.  The places where others who claim to know and love Jesus gather together.  It is an all too common exchange among Christians as well.  We pass in the hall or at an event and hear "good morning, how are you today?" and you assume chances are they are just being polite and are expecting the typical response of "good, how are you?" so you say it, and move on, but, inside, you are thinking about the real answer, and about all the things that are not just good, and you wonder what it would be like to actually say everything you are thinking.  You wonder if they are thinking and feeling the same thing.

Everything I share here is another lesson in my personal sanctification, another lesson in my need to cling to Hope and not to myself.  Though I have never been good at hiding my feelings with my facial expressions--much to my dismay--this was and still can be a familiar part of my everyday and I know I am not alone, which is why I am sharing it with you now.  I am a recovering perfectionist who has been shown in my past the real life danger of hiding my imperfections, and wants to share this with my friends, my family, and with you who I might not know and might never meet, so that you can see it is not only ok to share our true selves, but it is what we were created to do.

We were made, through our identity in Christ, and not by our own strength to 'encourage one another and build each other up' (1 Thes. 5:11), to 'bear one another's burdens' (Gal 6:2) and remind each other that 'He would began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. (Phil 1:6).  

No, you don't have to spread your business to the masses, no you don't have to cast your pearls before all the pigs, but then again you never know which pig really needs to see a pearl.  And if we are solidly clinging to Christ then we can believe about ourselves what Psalm 46 says about the tabernacle, when "God is in the midst of her; she shall not bed moved; God will help her when morning dawns."

Just imagine what it would be like if we not only gave the real answer and shared out hearts when asked, but if we truly expected and desired a real answer from the ones to whom we ask those questions.  What if instead of giving and expecting typical, we gave and expected transparency?  What if we each set the example of sharing our hearts, sharing our sins, sharing our struggles, and really desired others to as well and were ready to listen no matter what it was that they needed to say out loud so that we could encourage them in their walk and point them towards the only One that can bring lasting help.

Lives change in the midst of transparency, hearts are met, burdens are lessened.  Real life happens when you share your realness, it can't happen any other way.

If you have spent your life holding on to all the hard inside only to let it drip out occasionally this is a massive paradigm shift in your life, but it is one worth exploring and practicing until that pause is no longer void of what you are afraid to say but full of what you need to say and what another may be need to hear.  Truth begets truth and that moment of honesty from your end could be just what another needs to finally drop a burden they have been holding on to.  A moment of honesty on another's end could be exactly what you need to drop the burden you have been clutching with both fists as well.

When I ask you how you are doing, I promise, I really want to know, so I am praying for you, challenging you, to let your conversations be real, open, setting up the atmosphere of honest communication where hearts can grow or hearts can heal or hearts can just see God's image in another.  Pray for me.

because each of our lives could be a podcast

My dad used to drive us to elementary school.  At the time he had a brown 1979 Impala that he had been given by my grandparents complete with cigarette burned front seats, a ceiling with fabric so droopy it could hit you in the head if you sat up too straight, and a push button radio that he only kept on NPR which never failed to tell us how many minutes it was until the hour as we were getting out in front of the school drop off line.

So, with that explanation, I guess you can say my hatred for talk radio began at a young age.  Apart from Click and Clack's comical Boston accented voices on Car Talk who will forever hold high rankings in my fondest childhood memories, I have always found talk radio to be false thoughts only spoken as ads, full of unnecessary sensationalized emotions and opinions that seem to do more for segregating people then bringing them together, or, well, boring.  I realize that is a strong statement.  Sorry that I have to stick by it pretty intensely.  Forgive me if you have different opinions!

It was because of this, and these preconceived opinions, that I have jumped, very late, onto the podcast bandwagon.  My inability to pay attention to them while also working on other things has kept my list down to just a handful of favorites that can be listened to when my mind does not need to be engaged elsewhere, most of which are just people I may or may not have ever heard of telling their life stories.

In conversation the other day I was sharing with a friend some wonderful insight I had gained through listening to a guest on The Pivot and how cool it was that this person who I will never meet dared to bare their soul and hard earned wisdom of life just so that I, Sarah in Oxford, Ga, could be spoken into.  There is such beauty in that, that sharing of life to benefit the life of another.  Conversation continued on about how many celebrities now have podcasts and how thousands and thousands will listen to them for no other reason than because they are well known.

This thought was pondered quite a bit and then I remembered a verse in John that portrayed another preconceived opinion that one of the disciples had before following along.  At the end of chapter 1 when Philip tells his friend that they have found the Messiah and are going to follow him.  His friend replies, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?"

Why do we often assume good things only come from big important places or big important people?  When there are 7 billion people available, quite a few are going to be known, well known, famously or infamously so.  Most of us will not reach that level of recognizability by the masses, but we still each have a story to tell.  We each have the ability to impact another with what we have been through, what we have been brought through, and where we are going.

I'm not saying we should each start a podcast, but we should each tell our stories.  Talk about what has happened, what God has done through it.  When Jesus restored the literally out of his mind naked man in Luke 8 back to his senses he begged to go with them wherever they were going, but Jesus said no, instead, go home and tell what God has done for you.  Go to that little town you have been living outside of and say it to them.

We are not all meant to have the loudest voices, but we are all meant to speak.  

I'm not saying we should each start a podcast, but we each could, because anything Good can come out of anywhere if God is deeming it to be so.  You can be the stone that starts a giant ripple that brings others to Him.

Oh Nazareth, you precious little blip on the map.  Can good come from you?  Yes, and it was the ultimate Good.

I'll be praying that you not just know your perfectly purposely planned and executed story for His glory, but that you will tell it to others and let them see.  Pray for me.

because we can't hold on forever

I have never really liked my hands. My sister inherited the good hands. They're soft and smooth, long fingers with nails that grow past the point where the white actually shows and can be filed in a ladylike manner. I seem to have inherited the opposite. Even at a young age they seemed, to my eyes, like old lady hands. I got the large veins that show their blue through the skin on the back, short fingernails that break way too easily, and no amount of lotion will keep them soft and supple for long.

You would think that the four years of CrossFit they have endured would make me like them less, because now added in with what was previously mentioned are calluses and torn blisters and the scars that are still slightly visible from previous ones that have already healed.  But actually, that makes me like them a little more, because at least I can see with my eyes the work they have done.  If I can't have pretty, at least I have productive.

But there's one part, one aspect, those two extremities at the end of my arms have that I just can't seem to improve on my opinion of, how well they can hold on.

It never fails, or I guess I should say they always fail.  Sooner or later, usually sooner rather than later, they give out and let go.  All my willpower in the world cannot make them hold a bar for longer than they are able.  I have to stop and rest them, shake them out, and will them to try again.  Recently, after having a seemingly normal conversation--well a normal conversation for some of us--about grip strength and bar cycling with one of our coaches, I sat in the car staring at my battle wounds and gained a sense of understanding.  Yes, I can improve their strength, our bodies were created in an amazing way that makes grown and improvement a possibility, but I will never be able to hold on to anything forever.  I wasn't built to hold on,  I was built to be held on to.

A story I was told years ago has always stayed with me.  In the story this man's friend was on a tubing trip with his family.  As they floated contentedly down the river, his young daughter in his lap, the water's current started to quicken and before them they saw that the rapids that were usually quiet had grown fierce and wild with the recent rain.  He braced himself for the blows to come and with all his might held tightly to his daughter as they were thrown from the tube and sent into the waters.  Tumbling and turning he kept holding on until they finally reached calm waters again.  With tears streaming down her face she grinned proudly at her daddy and said I holded on, I holded on the whole time!  But he knew the truth, she wasn't safe because of her strength to hold on, she was safe because someone stronger was holding on to her, and he never let go.

It's a lesson I have learned a thousand times for sure with thousands left to go, I can't control the outcomes I can only fulfill my part.  I can't force things to happen that are not meant to be, just like I can't stop what's meant to be from happening.  I can cling and stretch and learn and grow, all good things to be sure, but eventually I'll have to let go, and when I do I can clearly see the One who is always holding on to me.  In my weakness I see His strength, in my weakness He in my makes me strong.

As I continue and practice, strength will grow in my body, but as for my Spirit, instead of learning to hold on longer, maybe the lesson should be to let go a little sooner so that I may rest in My Father who will never let go.  I'll be praying that for you, pray for me.

For do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10