sunday song

Even without the tragic events stemmed from hate filled hearts that occurred yet again yesterday, our world is full of heartbreak, struggles, grief.  I stand still and all around me in a whirlwind of thought are headlines, phone conversations, texts filled with despair and loneliness, scenes seen and overheard in different areas of life.  Swirling, they try to cover up what I know is Good, who I know is Good.  It's so easy to think we live in a world much worse today than ever before, but honestly, the "worst" we see has always been there, its just gets closer to home, forcing us to look in the eye and decide if we will turn away or not.

There are many who need to speak out more; there are just as many who honestly just need to shut up.  But we all need to remember even in the midst of the overwhelming chaos in our eyes, is a God who holds us all, image bearers of Him, in His hands, even when we don't understand what is going on around us, especially then.

"He is the living God, enduring forever; his kingdom shall never be destroyed, and his dominion shall be to the end.  He delivers and rescues; he works signs and wonder in heaven and on earth." (Daniel 6:26-27)

This week in a devotionsI read these next words. feeling thankful for the reminders, and the promise that even as we move forward in our what's next, there is One who already knows.

"Over all the trouble that confounds and dismays us is a God of glorious wisdom,  power, and grace who rules every moment of every situation.  No, you will not always see his hand.  You often won't understand what he is doing.  There will be points when life won't make sense to you.  At times, you will wish that life could be different.  There will be moments when you will feel unprepared for what is on your plate.  In these moments, look up and remember that above it all there is a throne, and on it sits a God of unimaginable majesty, ruling all for his glory and for your good." Paul D. Tripp

There is strength within the sorrow,

There is beauty in our tears

You meet us in our mourning,

With a love that casts out fear

You are working in our waiting,

Sanctifying us

When beyond our understanding,

You're teaching us to trust

CHORUS

Your plans are still to prosper,

You have not forgotten us

You're with us in the fire and the flood

Faithful forever,

Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

You are wisdom unimagined,

Who could understand your ways

Reigning high above the heavens,

Reaching down in endless grace

Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly,

Compassionate and kind

You surround and You uphold me,

Your promises are my delight

Even what the enemy means for evil

You turn it for our good,

You turn it for our good and for your glory

Even in the valley You are faithful

Youʼre working for our good,

Youʼre working for our good and for your glory

because our time is not our own

As we continue to look forward into these next Ten months, let us remember past Truths that have been revealed and concentrate on opening our hearts to the new ones God so loving and continuously presses upon us because of the beautiful gift of Grace.  Oh the many Truths He has for us, age old to Him, but shiny and new to us as we walk in faith ever learning how Jesus's Spirit seeps into every part of our being constantly changing our inner dispositions.  He is our simple answer in the midst of the complicated world.  Today, let us think about how to guard our time for His use instead of constantly filling it up with ourselves.

Here in our small corner of Georgia, our children are in the midst of the second full week of school. Which, for me, means that after ten years of staying at home with at least one little toe headed boy, there is instead quiet all around.  I am far from empty nested, as it is only a few hours until their noise reenters our environment, and even while they are gone learning from our loving community of teachers there are plenty of things left in their wake that makes their presence in our home still fully known!

However, like anyone who has suddenly, or not so suddenly, found themselves in a new stage of life, there is plenty of doubt trying to creep its way into the experience.  With that doubt, often comes his unwanted friend Worry.  Yesterday, in perfect timing--as if God was capable of anything else--a quote by Oswald Chambers came to my attention reminding to not "take the pressure of forethought upon yourself.  It is not only wrong to worry, it is infidelity, because worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything else that worries us."

"But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; 

     the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you;

 or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; 

     and the fish of the sea will declare to you.

Who among all of these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?

In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind" Job 12:7-10

  

Whenever you feel worry begin, dig down to the root of it before it can take root in you.

For me in the now of my life, worry was triggered by one seemingly innocent question that has been asked in a variety of ways but with still the same meaning at the center: "What are you going to do with all that time?"

Time, this almost tangible among intangibles.  We want to enjoy it, we want to use it wisely, we want it to not fleet it away, we want it to stand still, we want it to fly by, we want to make the most of it, and we do not want others to judge the way we spend it.

There is great temptation to prove myself worthy and not wasteful to every person who asks that question.  In truth there are lists upon lists in my head of things to catch up on, projects to tackle, goals to meet, people to connect with, and places to volunteer.  However, also, admitting to anyone that there is a great desire to spend a week laying on the couch watching old movies, trying to replenish some of the sleep that has been lost in my first decade of mothering with daily naps is exactly what I am afraid to say out loud because it seems selfish and slothful, and goes against all things women have been responsible for doing since Eve screwed up the peace of the Garden for all of us.  Kidding, but not really.  You get me, right?

When we look at the world we see people around us constantly scurrying about.  Even if there is a smile on the face of a friend you run into around town as you both pause in that moment to chat about life while your grocery carts are blocking two aisles and an intersection in Kroger, you still know that you both have an agenda and lots of things to check off before the day is over. So after that pause, however pleasant it was, scurrying picks right back up.  I feel myself constantly quoting the visiting pastor from a favored Andy Griffith episode, "What's your HURRY!"

To answer this for myself, a list--of course a list--began trying to explain why people, myself included, feel the need to hurry about scheduling every possible minute of the day and more.  Maybe you have other thoughts to add, and if so please feel free to share.  I love hearing your thoughts and heart!

Thus far the list includes...

     *  Having to do life alone-  You are the mother and father, the caretaker and breadwinner.                                                                  Attempting to fulfill all the roles needed in a household was not the                                                          perfect Design, but a situation many find themselves in.  Oh how I pray
                                                 there is community around each of you to help bear the burden.

     *  Overscheduling-  When each person in the family has passions that you want to allow them to
                                      pursue, plus friends to commune with, plus school activities to attend, plus
                                      work that is needed to fund it all, plus...plus...plus you find yourself with a
                                      nightmare of a calendar and the desire chuck all of it.  I'm not going to                                                     lie, sometimes we need to go with that last desire.

     *  Too many yeses-  Saying no, unless it's to your kids when they ask you for a dessert after                                                     touching zero of their dinner, is HARD.  Even for us introverts who basically                                           want to hide out in our happy place alone with a book, still struggle with
                                      people pleasing where yeses fly out of our mouths faster than the nos cry out
                                      inside.  This inevitably results in a schedule full activity but a heart full of
                                      bitterness as time is being used up by the dayfuls on things you might never
                                      have wanted to do to begin with.

     *  Keeping up with someone else-  Could be the Joneses, or the Mays, or the Keels, or the
                                                              or the Cardozas, or the random person you see everywhere
                                                              and can't remember their name but you know you MUST keep                                                                 up with them.  Therefore, you say those too many yeses, let
                                                              everyone sign up for everything, take in those extra practices,
                                                              exercise classes, leadership roles, and all else to make sure your
                                                              life resembles the ones of those around you.

    *  You are afraid to be still-  This one stung the most.  Afraid to be still.  Afraid of what others may
                                                 think.  Afraid of what you are missing out on.  Afraid of what you may
                                                 learn about yourself if you have time to think about what you are doing.                                                  Doubt, worry, and then fear.  They are a threesome never far away from
                                                 each other, but never produced by the Trinity.  They are products of
                                                 darkness, only to be fought off by the Light.
                                   
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to visit with the sister of a friend, who I would love to have become a friend herself.  An artist by trade, she opened her home to me to peruse her art as I had a desire to add a little sophistication to my home with pieces that were unique all while supporting a local artist who also fits in the budget of one who, as I recently mentioned, hasn't worked outside the home in ten years.

Like many artists, she frames her non canvas pieces atop a white surface with plenty of room on the edges.  This 'white space' takes away the potential for distractions as your eyes are now free to fully take in the beauty of what is at the center.

photo cred J. Rollins

We are God's handiwork, His art here to glorify Himself and be used in the lives of others.  And around our lives needs to be the same white space any artist would give.  Because, "White space is where the world and all the distractions falls away.  Where the voice of the Divine can be heard..." ~Valerie Rickel

Days will come, seasons will come, that feel busier than others, depending on the ages of children, the life work you have chosen, the events of a given week, surprises that pop up and need to be dealt with immediately.  Life is life, and in this imperfect world we can not expect perfection from anyone other than the Creator, our Savior, and the Spirit He left with us.  We certainly can not expect perfection from ourselves, therefore how we use the time we are given will not be perfect either.

However, we CAN ask to be led to use it wisely and fight the temptation to use it all up with ourselves and for our agendas.  For "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.  It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."Psalm 127:1-2 
Sleep.  Rest.  In Him.

Author of Spiritual Whitespace, Bonnie Gray said, "Spiritual Whitespace makes room--room in our hearts for a deeper, more intimate relationship with God, room in our lives for rest, room in our souls for rejuvenations.

So, as we continue forward with these thoughts towards the next ten months, and forever, I will be praying that there will be an opportunity to create some white space in our lives, room to breathe and see.

The time we have was never really our own.  If we were bought with a price, than that includes all parts of us, time spent included.  We cannot make the most of something that does not belong to us, but He will make the most of us when we give our time back to Him, the one who created it in the beginning.

I'll be praying for you, pray for me.

because sometimes there is a simple answer

As we continue to look forward into these next Ten months, let us remember past Truths that have been revealed and concentrate on opening our hearts to the new ones God so loving and continuously presses upon us because of the beautiful gift of Grace.  Oh the many Truths He has for us, age old to Him, but shiny and new to us as we walk in faith ever learning how Jesus's Spirit seeps into every part of our being constantly changing our inner dispositions.

Welcome August, you month of new beginnings, marked with your ability to send children forward into another year of childhood while mama's hearts break and rejoice as their visions of those growing souls before them change in and out with the perfectly remembered picture of a different age and younger, rounder faces.

Ten months are upon us friends.  Ten months of learning, growing, changing, following, leading.  Ten months of figuring and planning and implementing.  Ten months of some things staying the same while others are moving forward.  Ten months of treasuring past and anticipating future, of remembering past Truths and opening your heart to the ones God so lovingly, continuously presses upon us because of the beautiful gift of Grace.

Oh the many Truths He has for us, age old to Him, but shiny and new to us as we walk in faith ever learning how Jesus's spirit seeps into every part of our being constantly changing our inner dispositions. Should we ever really feel the effect of aging when each day we our spirit is being renewed?

It's tempting to take on newness, change, in two different ways.  Depending on personality or possible prior knowledge of the change that is to come, one way is to attempt it all at once.  The other, is to attempt to hide from it completely.  There is the typical battle of getting it all over with, getting it all completed and checked off, versus avoiding the need to begin with, doubting that any change is coming or even necessary.  How often do we drift to an extreme when there is a middle ground of patient faithfulness where we should usually be treading.  For me, it's often on the daily.

Living in this home, and in yours as well, are minds that, as Paul David Tripp puts it, "want to make life all about us, to want little more than our own way, and to live like little self-sovereigns."   Try as I might, I cannot just believe that there are three young monarch wannabes walking the floors of our home.  My heart desires my own way more often than it desires anyone else's.  One major side effect of this most annoying product of the fall--fall of man, not the season--is that it causes us to make much harder than it needs to be.

There are literally dozens of scenarios that come to mind that could entertain you slash make you feel better about your own life.  Just the amount of time wasted while arguing with a child about what socks to put on so that they can make it to baseball practice on time is shocking.  You would think a pair of baseball socks was the simple answer, you would be wrong.  And there is no pride in my head when I think about the attitudes I have illustrated and the time I have wasted being less than loving when that same pair of socks does not find their way back to my designated desired spot after said practice is over when a simple reminder would suffice.  This is only a drop in the bucket.  Only a small innocent example of the much more vile ones that have made their way into history.

Our innate being does not want the simple answer.  It does not want the one held open before us.  Sin has made us desire the complication this world brings, getting lost in the midst of a mess we make as we are bound and determined to find our own way instead of resting in the Peace given through Christ. The ever calming place in the center of any storm.

As we search for the biggest and the best, God uses the humble and contrite.  Even Anne Shirley knew that "All things great are wound up with all things little"

While the end goal for this series is to encourage you to make intentional plans for your next ten months, it would be futile without starting first at the heart level.  Clearing out ourselves so that someone else can fill its place.  Sin clouds our vision.  Our eyes are always looking at something, but where are they actually focusing?

The simple answer in the midst of the complicated world?

He is the alpha and omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. (Rev. 22:13)  He is the image of the invisible God, the first born of all creation. For by him all things were created...all things were created through Him and for Him...in Him all things hold together. (Col. 15-17) All the things.

As we then seek our next steps, we can do so without succumbing to the complicated goals the world tells us we should be striving for because, "If you delight in the fact that you are God's, you cannot be disappointed in how He's using you." Ryan Johnson, pastor New City Church.

And if you are His, He promises He is using you.

If you have the opportunity right now, read Paul's words from Colossians 1.  It is within this line up of prayers that I find not only encouragement for myself, but petition for you as well.  Long ago this disciple wasn't just praying for those faithful saints in Colossae but also for me and you and every other child God calls to him.  He did not cease to pray for these things, with Christ we can strive for that as well.

As you seek the simplicity of just resting in Christ in the midst of the complicated world, I pray that it will, not just over the next ten months, but for forever, change you to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord.  That you will bear fruit in every good work.  That you will increase in the knowledge of God.  That endurance will grow and there will be patience filled with joy.  And that with each day you will be able to give thanks because you will see that He has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

I'm praying for you, pray for me.

For when you are saying goodbye to summer

For us in the southeastern states this is perfect timing as those of us with children have been scurrying about gathering all the supplies needed for going back to school.

Come this Friday or next Monday or whatever the day of the week within these last moments of July and early ones of August there will be an inundation of comments from our friends in other place across the US as we post our precious babes all cleaned up with backpacks on ready to tackle this new year.

Yes, we know it is still July.
Yes, we know it seems early.
Yes, we know you do not start for another month.
BELIEVE ME, WE KNOW!

However, whether the first day is tomorrow or a month from now, there is still that mix of feelings from excitement and anticipation of new adventure to sadness for the waning summer.

Years ago Myquillin Smith, aka The Nester, shared a thought about how we each only have 18 summers with our children before they go off to college.  While there, lord willing, will still be plenty of contact after that 18th summer, life, relationship, and influence upon that child will be so very different. That is why, around here at least, summers are full of both fun activity as well as lazy togetherness.

Lots of things take backseats during the summer months so that time with three little, not so little, boys can climb up securely into the front seat.  Even my wonderful homeschooling mamas can relate to this. While they do have more one on one time due to the education they have chosen, there is still a nice reprieve from "teachering" and a greater ability to just BE.

Honestly, single or married, kids or no kids, school aged or not school aged, life is not so broken up by a yearly calendar as much as it by a school calendar.  Businesses, tv shows, amusement parks, churches and many other places make their plans around what happens from August to July, instead of January to December.  So, while the first of January is a typical time to set goals for all parts of life, it's this time of year where more plans are laid and more thoughts are going towards what the desires for life will look like over the next ten months until the next sweet summer comes around again.

What do you want your next ten months to look like?

The other day, as I was standing in the kitchen looking at the piles of recently separated school supplies that had just been purchased and feeling exhausted from a running ALL the errands day all while knowing the state of a summer filled house is more than a little overwhelming to think about putting in order I noticed that the inside edge of our back door was disgustingly dirty.  How does a part of the door that no one touches get that filthy.  After making this comment to my husband his response was, "Isn't it interesting, that when anything in the world is left to its own device it goes downhill instead of getting better."

Y'all.  I just stopped in my tracks.

How often do I think life will maintain itself?  That items or feelings or goals or people will just stay exactly as is until I am able to come around to them again.

A plant cannot grow without sunshine and water.  Gardens become overgrown and full of weeds without the loving hands of a gardener.  Are other living things any different?

Lives need caretaking.  Schedules need caretaking.  Goals and dreams need caretaking.  Left to their own device they will also become unruly, overgrown, and hidden by situational weeds because they are in the world.

But first and foremost, before we are able to take care of anything, we have to realize how much we are taken care of.  

In Genesis 28:15 God says behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land.  For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

It is out of this promise, it is with this Hope and this Hope alone that we are able to care for others, It is with this ever present hand that are able to help care for the life He has given us and planned for us.

Over the next few weeks, as we all are beginning to leave those lazier, not so scheduled days of summer and jump back into the swing of regularly scheduled programming, we will explore this topic a bit deeper.  Stepping into these next ten months and making plans on how to care for them the way God has called us to.  Not just hearing, but listening, to His call for you.  Not just seeing, but focusing on the way that is being brought before you.

I hope you're as excited to join me as I am to join you on this mini journey of more ways God is constantly changing our inner dispositions to be more like Christ.

Until then, let your mind wander and let your heart begin to listen to what may be coming up inside for you, all the while remembering that the care you can give to other things is there because you are so unbelievably cared for.

 I'll be praying for this beginning of the next ten months, pray for me.

for when you spend two hours writing only to have your chromebook erase all of your work

Y'all I am in tears, streaming, forcing myself not to ugly cry in the middle of a coffee shop.  Back on my beloved Wednesday morning I have been sitting here pondering and pouring onto the keys praying that my words would be an encouragement to another.  And then, a frozen screen, a restore, and nothing.  The site that usually, dutifully saves every word as you go, did not do it's job.  Minutes from being finished, a paragraph away from a conclusion, and now nothing is left except the tears on my cheeks, an empty cup of tea and a half eaten piece of blueberry pound cake.

My mind is reeling, wondering if it's God who did not think my words were glorifying or Satan who did not want them read.

I hope I can conjure back up the heartfelt reminders and encouragements about the call to be pioneers in our lives, about letting Faith guide us to blaze new trails for others as we ultimately follow the True Pioneer of Christ, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who is able to empathize with us in every way.  But that time is not right this minute.

Until then, please pray for me to see His hand in something as little--and big--as a technological failure and as I pray for you I want to leave you with this...

"Father, you know us in secret, and you know all our secret places.  What we do to benefit your kingdom will not be lost if it is not seen by others, for you see and you reward according to your grace and mercy."  G.K. Chesterson

because He wants our first fruits

Alongside of our circle drive, in the perfect location for me to accidentally back into them on those early morning school runs when the sun has not quite yet sent it's rays down upon us, sits a large patch of blueberry bushes.  While their age, to us anyway, is unknown, they have been planted long enough to tower over seven feet and have enough strength for their blossoms to withstand this years early Spring freeze that demolished every azalea in the county.


Going on three summers we have watched and waited as the little round green nubs grew and changed colors until the bushes are full of dark bluish purple berries ready to be picked and either popped directly into your mouth if you are my children or turned into delicious muffins, cakes, and cobblers if you follow my line of thinking.

Those first fruits that come off the tree never cease to bring a feeling of awe to my heart.  They are a testament to the process started by a seed that continues to cycle around for almost no other reason than God created it to happen in that way, at that time.  A physical, tangible reminder of how He sets things into motion and cares for them until the fruit is borne.  Whether through frost and drought, or the perfect growing season, we, and the occasional bird and deer, are blessed to take from the branches.

There was a time when the giving of the first fruits of your harvest was required by law, with reverence and a holy fear, these items were offered up and only after were the rest able to be taken and used either for use or profit.  This first fruits offering found its fulfillment in Jesus, as "He is the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep" (1 Cor 15:20) 

Because of Christ, we do not have to earn favor from God as we are each His favorite if we are hidden in Christ, the Spirit inside calls us and guides us to desire to give our own first fruits to Him.  There is nothing we can do to make God love us less, and likewise, there is nothing we can do to make God love us more. But, to both glorify His name and as an outlet for the overwhelming thankfulness that builds up when you seek to learn and understand how much He has, is, and will do, our Spirit longs to offer our own personal first fruits to Him.

In this scenario, minds may jump first to money, giving back some of that which the world counts as most valuable in our society.  Some may think of giving their time and service, helping their brother in need, coming alongside their neighbor, sacrificing to walk with another and bear another's burden.  Each of these have their place of importance in the Kingdom we are called to live in, however, if the first fruits of your heart are not set aside and offered up, than any act done comes before Christ and not with Him.  He wants us first, and we need Him first.

While reading through Life Together, some wonderful ladies and I struggled through Bonhoeffer's suggestions of how a day for a believer should look.  When you get a group of moms together there will inevitably be talk of how there is not enough time in any day to feel as if you are caught up on anything.  And while Dr. John Trainer--though it's often credited to C.S. Lewis--does say "Children are not a distraction from more important work.  They are the most important work." there is still a great desire to feel accomplished and productive outside of that realm.  When your list of what you consider are needs and desires is constantly growing, it is most difficult to be told that your day needs to include even more.

Excuses were made that this book was written so long ago that obviously we can not assume that it is applicable to our day and age, but we each knew there were Truths set forward that were more than just good advice, but items necessary for our hearts to be set in order.  Just as God does not often work on all parts of our hearts at the same time, neither do we need to try to overwhelm ourselves with incorporating all the things we see simultaneously either.  For me, this was where the thought of first fruits began to grow.

Taken from Psalm 57:7-8, Bonhoeffer says, "For Christians the beginning of the day should NOT [emphasis mine] be burdened and oppressed with besetting concerns for the day's work...let the first thought and the first word of the day belong to him to whom our whole life belongs."

Our thoughts and words, the first fruits of our day, given to Him.  An act of praise and thankfulness with the first conscious moments of a new day full of new mercies so graciously given again and again.

In the last few months there has been special attention placed upon those first thoughts and first words of mine after turning off the alarm but before my feet touch the floor.  There have also been wondrous closeness felt with my creator and savior because of it.  He is faithful when we are faithful.  But praise Him even more, He is faithful when we are faithless (2 Tim 2:13)

Because, lest you think I now am living the utmost holiest of lives uttering nothing but praises as soon as the sunrises, think again.  Just as you encounter in your life, I know all to well the constant pull of countless items that fight for your attention.  Some, such as the caretaking of your children, home, profession, friendships, family, church community, living community and the like are noble and necessary.  Others, like the temptation to peruse various social media venues, desires to fulfill dream like scenarios, and the occasional or not so occasional desire to hide and distract from real life through a countless list of activities can be given no noble title, yet are succumbed to much more than any other thing.

But when there are so many things clawing at you, demanding that you look at them first, it can be difficult to distinguish in that moment which direction to give your focus.

When in high school, if I was confronted with a difficult or dangerous situation that needed to be avoided but could cause embarassment or uncomfortableness from my peers, my parents would tell me to just blame them.  Let them be the reason.

God has given us the answer of where our focus goes first.  He has given our 'need to make everyone happy hearts', an 'out' so to speak.

He, and He alone, gets our First Fruits.  Period.

To be able to give those first fruits in our first moments, that will inevitably train our hearts to give him our first fruits in every moment, our minds and hearts need to first feel thankfulness for those moments to begin with.

This comes through three things...

          1.  Abiding in Christ.  When you are seeking him, hiding in his word and being, your inner dispositions
               change.  It is an involuntary action.  As your inner dispositions change, you begin to see how your
               Spirit longs for more of Him, more of Him in those first moments and in every moment after.

         2.  Practice.  Wake up tomorrow morning and thank Him for the new day.  Ask Him to help you be a                 blessing to someone.  Ask Him to help you see His hand throughout the days events.  Ask Him to
              help you wake up the next morning and thank Him again.  The words do not matter as much as the
              heart behind them.

         3.  Give yourself grace when you fail.  I promise He will.  You will wake up one morning and check
              facebook instead.  You will get halfway through your day and suddenly remember you were
              anything but thankful.  You already are forgiven and you will be loved anyway.  You fail daily.  He
              has promised to love you for eternity.

This is an ongoing challenge for myself that I am now extending to you dear friend.  Give Him your first thoughts, your first words, your first fruits of the day.  It can take no more than a moment but that moment can carry you, because it's Him carrying you, for much longer than you can imagine.  

I'm praying for your first fruits to be for Him, pray for me.

for when you need courage to take the next step

When on a vacation with your extended family which includes 12 adults and just as many kids all of which are under the age of 10 and more than half of which are 5 years old and younger, peace and quiet is not something you count on achieving.  Though fun and energy are most definitely daily tasks that are being checked off, when your soul leans more to the introverted side and thoughts do not tend to come to fruition until quiet moments are found, a writer's heart, such as mine, assumes that another week will go by where that part of herself needs to be placed to the side so that the energy needed for creativity and pondering can be funneled instead to being in the moment and enjoying it to the fullest.  Are there those in the world who do not have to voluntarily transfer their mental energy on the daily? If you are one such soul, be thankful my friend.

However, my doubt was overcome by His promise yet again and on a morning with a cup of tea in hand I sat on the front steps in Florida air mixed with humidity, a faint breeze, and the mottled noises of a houseful of folks beginning their day and came away with one thought that has continued to grow since, "It's time to keep going forward, I promise I'll tell you if you need to stop."


He speaks friends.  When you listen, you hear.

One of my children not only needs step by step instruction, but he needs it clearly written and sequential in order to complete everything needed.  If instructions are spoken instead, he requires the time to complete one, maybe two at a time, before adding to the list.  If given too much at one time, all is forgotten and nothing will get accomplished.

I simultaneously love and get frustrated with this quality of his.  The love comes from my own inner need for order and lists and wanting to make sure everything is done that is needed to get done.  The frustration comes from not understanding how, even when it's the same routine over and over, there is not an immediate and habitual moving on to the next thing.  What is keeping that little mind from using past experiences and context clues to just keep going?

Can you see where I'm heading with this?  The dawn of understanding pieces of yourself often comes through observation of others.  This is not judgement, in its negative sense, it is the judging that brings understanding, wisdom earned through situational discernment with a good dose of humility on the side.

The Christian life is full of unknowns, not for our Creator of course as He wrote our stories before the beginning of time, but for us and our minds personally.  Situations that have not yet come to past, experiences that have not yet been lived through, and wisdom that has not yet been gained are all dotted along our paths to be.  Sitting there for their planned time and place.

However, like my precious boy, we can find ourselves waiting, hesitant to take the next step because of the uncertainty of what will happen when we do.  Whether we admit it or not--and I have a feeling most of us would admit it freely--there is a great desire for a list of steps.  A sure, written in stone, sign that says go and do this exact thing.  Forgotten are the Words left with us and the example of those gone before us.  Distrusting are we to the people placed in our lives presently that mentor and guide.  Even ourselves we doubt.  What if we did not really hear what we thought we heard?

So instead of using our own context clues from the information given, instead of allowing our habit of walking in the Spirit propel us forward, instead of living in Faith and taking our own "leap from the lion's head" we sit, and wait, and look for a 100% no fail guarantee.  Both instances, the childhood chores and our spiritual stalling, stem from immaturity.  Both do not just improve with age, but with practice as well.

There are times we are called to wait.  Where there is a deeply felt need to stop trying to constantly take control and to sit and be still instead.  I have experienced a season of wait myself.  Never is a true wait on the Lord wasted, because not only is the wait required for building up those lovely qualities of patience and contentment, within it is also a process of preparation.  Whether God is preparing your heart, mind, soul and strength for the next step or preparing other people and places for your arrival, there is work in the wait. Says Oswald Chambers, "To wait upon God is the perfection of activity.  We are told to rest in the lord, not to rust."

Some can sit, wait, and look for a lifetime.

"It never works to wait for God to do what he has clearly called you to do."  ~Paul David Tripp

For myself, there are three things possible on the horizon, three things firmly planted in my heart, and for almost a year I have been trying to discern which one was supposed to be first.  Agonizing over taking a secure step forward and instead circling around trying to pick the right path.

I do not know what has been placed in your heart, but I do know that if you have prayed about it, sought the counsel of another about it, and it is still firmly planted--assuming whatever it is is not completely heretical of course--that it's time to leap, it's time to keep moving forward trusting that He will tell you when to stop.

He promises to make those paths straight, not smooth or easy or quick, but straight to where He's guiding.

The end results might matter and they might not, what changes your heart the most is the walking forward when you do not know the way but ever Trusting that God does. So go, and in the words of the ever wise Will Ferrell, "Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the results."

 I will be praying for you as you discern and take those next steps in Faith, pray for me.