Because optimism will fail where hope won't

If it's wrong to learn valuable life lessons through Disney princess movies, I don't want to be right.

Maybe I should rephrase that into a more credible statement.  The gospel is everywhere.  Martin Luther said, "God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars."  So, if it is written in the stars above earth, why not also in the stars above Corona, which just happens to be the fictional Kingdom from the movie Tangled.  If my father in law can quote Rocky movies in his sermons, sharing inner disposition changing lessons courtesy of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider is totally acceptable.

So I'll say it again, if it's wrong to learn valuable life lessons through Disney princess movies, I don't want to be right.

Rapunzel and I have a lot in common, well we have some things in common.  I don't think of her trapped in a tower, held prisoner by a fake mom, but that to her, life in the beginning was filled with happiness, singing, painting, reading, and then doing the same things again over and over with a smiling face because this is life, and you can't change it, so let's look on the bright side while we dance around the room with a chameleon.

But then questions and answers started to not measure up and in one leap from a 'safe' room in the clouds she entered the world and reality hit.  For a bit reality took her down and there she bounced back and forth between what was true and what was not without knowing who and what she was supposed to believe.

I get her, because in a way I was her.  I remember being a super optimistic person who always tried to think the best of everyone, never assumed another was capable of taking advantage of me or others, and that people actually said what they meant as I was wandered through life with my glass half full mindset.  That was, until, a big reality hit and then I was left with a shattered life view and a desito to figure out how to put the pieces back together.

Thankfully, it was a quick turn around to truly understanding that it wasn't my job to be the glue.

As I binge watch Parks and Rec for, I think I've lost count so let's call it, the 100th time, a similar personality can be found in the oh so funny character Chris Traeger.  His seemingly never ending optimism is waning as he is nearing his depths of despair period and I left him just this morning realizing the weight of his mortality as he collapsed on the track while trying to get Andy in shape.  He was desperately trying to solve a problem that we were never created to solve.

Let's face it, there will be days where you want the half full glass you carry around to be filled with something a little bit stronger than water, there will be days where it feels as if hard and difficult fill every second, and when a plucky optimistic voices responds with sunshine and rainbows your desired response is less than loving.

A long analysis of the relationships in the movie Trolls could be inserted here, but I'll spare you...for now.

Optimism is a wonderful character quality that can bring a smile to your face as well as those around you, but optimism does not really mean anything if it's not based upon Truth.  Just as in the familiar scriptures from Corinthians 13 that tell us all the things we can do will be meaningless if we do not have love, all the the bright sides we can muster won't hold up without a true faith.

In Paul Miller's book A Praying Life he calls this type of optimism "Naive Optimism"  "At first glance," he says, "genuine faith and naive optimism appear identical since both foster confidence and hope.  But the similarity is only surface deep.  Genuine faith comes from knowing my heavenly Father loves, enjoys, and cares for me.  Naive optimism is groundless.  It is childlike trust without the loving Father."

Why is this such a big deal?  Because it's a short trip from shattered optimism to heart hardening cynicism.  "You'd think," he also states, "that it would just leave us less optimistic, but we humans don't do neutral well.  We go from seeing the bright side of everything to seeing the dark side of everything."

A life of joy that comes despite your circumstance, a life of finding something to smile about, even when in despair, is reality, but it doesn't come from gumption or personality or a try harder attitude.  This life, this worldview, comes from a life hidden in Christ.  It comes from feet being securely planted in the shadow of His wings.  It comes from knowing the Truth of Psalm 62 that I rest in God alone, my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation and because of that, I will not be shaken.

No empty promises are wanted or needed, just the ones that bring assurance to your soul.

John Piper calls it faith in Future Grace, knowing you can trust the promise that God has plans for you in the future.  I simply call it Hope, living in the present, anticipating the future, because of what Jesus did for me in the past.  He is my bright side, in every scenario.

When those moments come that seem to shatter the optimism you naively built up, don't give up, don't look at all the collateral damage and seek a way to put it together again.  Instead, look harder, past the initial, past the things that are trying to grab your attention with their frustrating ugliness.  Look deep into the picture and find the little thing, the real thing that you need to be setting your eyes on.  Your focus isn't the outside of the ring, your focus is the center, the bulls-eye to your heart.  It is there, in Christ at the center, where you feel the pulse of Hope and when you concentrate there, it will begin to permeate through until you can expand the field of vision back to the shattered pieces and watch as He puts them together again.

Praying for you today, pray for me.

because if you don't tell them, how will they know {September's challenge}

"We live and breathe words..." ~Cassandra Clare

How true is this statement.  Words are very much the life and breath of our days.  They portray our feelings, share our concerns, teach our children, effect our hearts, overwhelm our motherhood, cheer our teams, bring tears at times and smiles at others...I could go on and on.  They, no matter what walk of life, fill our minds to overflowing daily.  Whether those words are read, spoken, thought, signed or even dreamed, our lives are teeming with words to hear, see, and process.

The previous was something shared years ago in a post called "Words" early on in this blog's life.  And recently it has come to mind again as the thoughts of sharing our stories and being transparent with others have been topics of discussion and pondering.   

Writing for others to read can be an intimidating thing and I don't just mean for me.  When you put down words or thoughts in an assignment, a story, a text, a letter, or a quick note, you are taking a piece of your heart and whatever it is full of in that moment and bearing it to the world.  While all words can never be taken back, the written ones are easier to remember than spoken ones because the evidence is before you to be looked at again and again if desired and destroying it requires a purposeful, physical action whether it's just pressing delete or tearing up and burning paper in anger.  I know I can't be the only person who has had an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend bonfire!

While we all have received notes that carry less than positive feelings, we also probably each remember times where left for us or sent to us have been words of full of love, thankfulness, and encouragement.  The best are the ones that come out of the blue.

As we begin to abandon the robotic, social norm answer of how we are and discover ways to be more transparent with others in our everyday conversations we will begin to see and feel how others impact our hearts.  A reader commented with these words when asked a question by a friend if we really should share our hearts with random strangers we just happened to run into during the day...

"...when we are open and honest and honest with people then it might cause them to be more open and honest and help them to share a burden when they might now have otherwise.  It may be a situation where you are definitely out of your comfort zone, however, you may just have the story they need to hear.  So, to answer your question, sometimes you need to open up to people close to you or sometimes you need to open up to a total stranger.  You might be surprised how a total stranger or someone you barely know can minister to you in a profound way and you might minister to them in a way that could change the way they are feeling about themselves and therefore change their life forever!"

When I receive a message or a comment about something I said impacting another in a positive way it doesn't puff of my pride but calms my soul.  Hearing that something you said or did brought peace or joy or understanding or support to another gives you confidence that yes, you are purposeful; yes, God is with you and is using you; yes, you heard and listened and obeyed.  All of these things are true without the response, but as people who were created to be in community, the giving and receiving of words is part of us, part of our given mission.  Proverbs 18:21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Likewise, it is imperative for me to remember that if another's purposefully given words that show appreciation about something I said or did are so impactful in my life, mine to another for the same reason are just as impactful to them.  We do not live in a world of straight lines where we give, another takes and that's the end.  Whether it's positive or negative, what we do creates a cycle.  What we give another always has the potential to effect what they give to the next person.  What I desire to give is love and support to motivate another to continue in the way God has pointed them towards and created them to be so that they can do that for another.

But I know, without Him being the one ruling my heart, there is the potential to create the opposite effect.  That is a fruit, that is not delicious to eat.

So friends, today I have a challenge for you, a task for the month of September that I hope you will not only join in on, but share it with others and then come back and share with me what you did, how it went, or what you learned.

I challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to contact five people.  Think back in life, a week, a year, a decade, to a person who maybe just randomly or maybe completely on purpose spoke something into your life that changed you, something that was said out of the blue or with deep thought that open your eyes to who God made you or in a way you had never seen before.  Find in your memory banks a milestone moment to your heart that was built with just the innocent words of one who did not fear being transparent in a moment.  I know you have them, we all have them.

Step 1:  Pray.  Pray first.  Let the Spirit within your heart guide you to the moment in the person so that the actions and words that come are not from you but from Him.

Step 2:  Write.  Call.  Text.  Whatever.  Reach out and let that person know that this is what they said and it impacted your life more than they would have ever thought, because if you don't tell them, how will they know.

So far on my list is a teacher I had through elementary and middle school, a woman who without knowing has mentored me through really hard life situations, a reader who constantly encourages, a previous employer, and a young child whose smiling face never ceases to brighten my day when I see it.

I am praying for you as we conquer this first challenge An Inner Disposition is setting that you will not only see the cycle that is built from it, but it is one you will want to take on again and again, pray for me.

because when I ask you how you're doing, I really want to know

I had a brilliant idea for a movie, well first it would be a book and then it would be turned into a movie.  You get more out of it that way so I hear, the message lasts longer and reaches more people, more fame piles up.  Obviously, though, the book would still be better than the movie, it always is.

The opening scene would be a woman walking through a door and down a hallway.  Maybe she's in a high rise apartment in New York just getting home from work, maybe she's in her child's school building on her way to a conference, maybe she's just taking a walk around the neighborhood, but regardless of the scene she is walking forward when she comes across another person coming in the opposite direction.  Like all polite people the individual she is passing greets her with a common "hello, how are you?" and then she turns her gaze to the other and PAUSE...

And it is in that pause where the story happens, it is in that slight pause before her response that time stands still.  Her mind flashes back in time rethinking her day, her week, her year and we, as the reader and/or viewer, get to see her story.  We get to see the moment where she walked out of the house without her wallet and phone only to not realize it until the moment the cashier tells her the final total.  We get to see her crying in the car having just hung up the phone after a difficult call.  We get to see her walk out on a job that caused such unprofessional abuse that the money was not worth the pain.  We get to see all the things that are piled on her plate and weighing her down, changing her course of life.  We get to see what is truly on her mind.

And then the end of the movie comes and we are transported back to the hallway, back to the moment she has been asked that familiar question, only to see a polite smile come across her face and hear her say "fine and you?" and then walk past continuing to her destination.

The reason the setting of the story is not important is because it can happen anywhere, does happen everywhere, on a daily, hourly, minutely--pretty sure that's not a word--basis.

"Fine" and "good" are answers we are all too good at giving.  I am reminded of this scenario everywhere.  Recently while pushing a cart full of groceries at Publix, the well mannered stockist, in his well mannered voice, asked how I was doing today.  I responded with the correct" I'm doing well, how about you?" to which he responded "I'm great thank you."  It was a very pleasant exchange that would surely have made his manager happy because at Publix, where shopping is a pleasure, you want your staff to be pleasant.  But, was it true?  For either of us?

Nobody likes to hear someone constantly complain and grump about everything.  Each one of us in our minds can think of that person who we feel is constantly complaining, constantly negative, and wouldn't see a silver lining if it was pointed out to them, but for some reason we have taken our frustration with that one person's behavior and led ourselves to believe that we must never complain, we must never be negative, and in the end what happens is that we keep ourselves from being real.

The hardest place to go through this scenario is at church, and before it seems like I'm being critical, I don't mean my particular church specifically, I mean Church with a capital C.  The places where others who claim to know and love Jesus gather together.  It is an all too common exchange among Christians as well.  We pass in the hall or at an event and hear "good morning, how are you today?" and you assume chances are they are just being polite and are expecting the typical response of "good, how are you?" so you say it, and move on, but, inside, you are thinking about the real answer, and about all the things that are not just good, and you wonder what it would be like to actually say everything you are thinking.  You wonder if they are thinking and feeling the same thing.

Everything I share here is another lesson in my personal sanctification, another lesson in my need to cling to Hope and not to myself.  Though I have never been good at hiding my feelings with my facial expressions--much to my dismay--this was and still can be a familiar part of my everyday and I know I am not alone, which is why I am sharing it with you now.  I am a recovering perfectionist who has been shown in my past the real life danger of hiding my imperfections, and wants to share this with my friends, my family, and with you who I might not know and might never meet, so that you can see it is not only ok to share our true selves, but it is what we were created to do.

We were made, through our identity in Christ, and not by our own strength to 'encourage one another and build each other up' (1 Thes. 5:11), to 'bear one another's burdens' (Gal 6:2) and remind each other that 'He would began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. (Phil 1:6).  

No, you don't have to spread your business to the masses, no you don't have to cast your pearls before all the pigs, but then again you never know which pig really needs to see a pearl.  And if we are solidly clinging to Christ then we can believe about ourselves what Psalm 46 says about the tabernacle, when "God is in the midst of her; she shall not bed moved; God will help her when morning dawns."

Just imagine what it would be like if we not only gave the real answer and shared out hearts when asked, but if we truly expected and desired a real answer from the ones to whom we ask those questions.  What if instead of giving and expecting typical, we gave and expected transparency?  What if we each set the example of sharing our hearts, sharing our sins, sharing our struggles, and really desired others to as well and were ready to listen no matter what it was that they needed to say out loud so that we could encourage them in their walk and point them towards the only One that can bring lasting help.

Lives change in the midst of transparency, hearts are met, burdens are lessened.  Real life happens when you share your realness, it can't happen any other way.

If you have spent your life holding on to all the hard inside only to let it drip out occasionally this is a massive paradigm shift in your life, but it is one worth exploring and practicing until that pause is no longer void of what you are afraid to say but full of what you need to say and what another may be need to hear.  Truth begets truth and that moment of honesty from your end could be just what another needs to finally drop a burden they have been holding on to.  A moment of honesty on another's end could be exactly what you need to drop the burden you have been clutching with both fists as well.

When I ask you how you are doing, I promise, I really want to know, so I am praying for you, challenging you, to let your conversations be real, open, setting up the atmosphere of honest communication where hearts can grow or hearts can heal or hearts can just see God's image in another.  Pray for me.