This year a goal has been set to read the entirety of God's word and there is a host of women joining in on the journey. Failure is always an option as we are each imperfect people but it is never a reason to give up! Whether each day is done without fail, catch ups are needed, or some have to stop for a variety of reasons, each word read, no matter how many, will lead us to grow in wisdom, grace, and fellowship with both us and our creator.
It took less than a day of reading to get a deeper understanding of why one can study the bible for a lifetime and still glean new things. In truth a lifetime is not enough. As Saint Augustine said, "The bible is shallow enough for a child not to drown, yet deep enough for an elephant to swim. Each verse opens up a new thought, a new question, a new understanding of what God has done and sometimes a confusion of why He is doing it. In moments of questions research is good but there are times where I need to submit to His authority remembering what A.W. Tozer said in his book Pursuit of God, "God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination, and the divine sovereignty. The best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say, "O Lord, Thou knowest." Those things belong to the deep and mysterious Profound of God's omniscience. Prying into them may make theologians, but it will never make saints."
Numbers 7-14
I didn't expect Numbers to have so much plot in it. I expected it to have more, well, more numbers I guess. I haven't avoided it my whole life exactly, but I have never been too pumped up to read it. It's sad to think that now. Not having studied for so long the history of the Kingdom means I have been missing an intense ability to be so thankful for the relative ease of my salvation and the full weight of what Jesus took upon himself starting with the sin of the first generation.
The tabernacle has been erected and the tribes set up each with their own specific job for among Israel. The Levites become the priests and before their tasks begin the ENTIRE ISRAELITE COMMUNITY (aka millions of people) come together and lay hands upon them. This is a biblical tradition dear to my heart for the love and support it shows to our brothers and sisters in Christ, physically wrapped in the arms of community while wrapped in words of prayer.
We also see again the way God was continuously with them as a huge cloud or a fire that they daily watched and followed, leaving and staying as commanded, completely dependent, teaching them to be completely dependent. However, the people, being people, began to complain. They complained about their food. I want to be astounded. I mean, food fell from the sky just for them to eat that was described as "pastry cooked with the finest oil" but instead they grew tired of it and wanted meat. After everything God had done for them they still found cause for complaint. You read that and get frustrated, yet it describes so much of me as well. God then gives them exactly what they wanted and within eating that meat a plague was brought on that killed many.
Then comes more complaining. First from Miriam that God doesn't speak through them, but only through Moses. But there is much beauty in here as well. God and Moses have a beautiful relationship. Moses is described as the most humble man on earth, which means when he is before God he puts himself beside and listens only to his Father. When we get out of our own way, setting ourselves, our desires, our plans to the side we see God more clearly than ever. We see God for who he is and what he is doing and trust him even in the ways we can not see.
One of the saddest stories, in my opinion, came from this week as well. In Numbers 13-14 after about only a year since their exodus from Egypt. The Lord tells Moses to send one man from each tribe to scout out the land. Twelve came back saying how wonderful the land was, exactly as God as described it to be, but only two of them came back confident that they could take the land that had been promised. Caleb and Joshua tried to spread Faith, knowing that with God they would take possession of their promise, but it wasn't these two that the people listened to. Instead, they listened to the other ten who spread fear. It only takes one word to plant doubt in the heart of another. One small sentence that ends up condemning a generation and keeps them from entering the land God had already picked out for them.
Psalms 42-50
For me, this line of Psalms was very rich. Going through them one at a time...
42-43 were so rich with feelings that I understand all too well. Why my soul are you so dejected? I remember what it feels like to not be that way, but yet to still know you must praise him and still have that desire to praise. There are times Praise does not come from a place of joy and thankfulness, there are instead times where praise just comes because you know he is still worthy and that he will send his light and truth and the joy will return.
44 contains the idea of a word I learned recently, diaspora. In order to plant them, you displaced the nations by your hand. God spreads us. Over and over in the bible he separates his people using many, often undesirable methods, to send those He loves around in order to make more people aware of him. They felt in this Psalm what can be known as the Silence of God, where they didn't hear him or feel him but still they have not forgotten him. We are told many times throughout scripture to be still, to wait on the lord. He is always working.
46 had two sentences that if I didn't already have three tattoos would be seriously considered. 42:5 says God is within her; she will not be toppled. God will help her when the morning dawns. When the Spirit of God is within you you WILL NOT be toppled. Know he holds you securely and will be there daily to help.
48 Often I forget what forever means. I forget that forever means forever, I convince myself that forever will run out. I need as 48:9 suggests to contemplate his faithfulness and remember that the forever he promised is indeed forever and to as it says in Psalm 50:5 to gather to him knowing that (50:15) I can call on him in a day of trouble and he will rescue me.
Song of Songs 5-8
I know I am supposed to look upon Song of Solomon and see beauty and romance and a connection with how Christ loves us his bride, but it's not easy. After learning that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines it's hard to believe him when he speaks so lovingly about a woman. Add that to the bizarre imagery and I was a little lost. I need to read it again with a different mindset and a different attitude.
Isaiah 1-4
Isaiah was called to prophecy to a people who had lost their way and shifted their focus from where it should have been. Israel does not know him any longer, they do not understand. Instead, they are making their own way, doing their own thing. Being demanded from them is heart felt action. Stop bringing useless offerings that do not truly come from a repentant heart, instead stop doing evil and love what is good.
I love that I get to read it from the perspective of the 'now' instead of the 'not yet'. I read this rich words and I see their fulfillment through Jesus, "though your sins are scarlet, they will be white as snow." They had the promise of the will, I have the surety of the have been.
Chapter 2 of this week was my favorite. The City of Peace. ALL nations will stream to Him and he will teach us about his ways so that we may walk in his path. Thank you that your name is spread throughout the world and we have your Word to teach us! Then to read "No nation will take up the sword against another and never again is there a need to train for war." Lord, we anxiously await this day.
Hebrews 5-11
I have read Hebrews several times and each time one of two things happens, either I understand all of it and glean a ton or I understand nothing and am super confused. It all depends on my mindset at the time as to whether I can follow or not. Many times I find myself at the end of a chapter and think hold on, how did I get here? I might be revealing too much of my ignorance right now, but hopefully more people can relate than lose respect ;)
One word that keeps coming to mind the entire book is the word empathy. Much different than sympathy, empathy provides a comfort of being completely known and understood. We are gotten, all the parts of our actions and minds and sin filled hearts poured over with that sacrificial blood are gotten, not by man, but by Jesus. he gets us. We have THAT kind of high priest who fully understands man and fully understands God. Again we live in the now instead of the not yet as we rest in the New Covenant. He is our God and we are His people and never again, NEVER AGAIN, will he remember our sins.
A few weeks ago Zach and I went to an estate sale at a beautiful old house in Oxford, our little blip on the map. For those who know me, you know that that experience is one of my happy places. I love rescuing the old, giving it new purpose, but there was a sadness that crept over me as I walked amongst this house with all of its treasures left behind and the words of Ecclesiastes came flooding back into my heart.
