Thinking requires quiet moments therefore writing requires quiet moments because writing without thought can turn a beautiful idea into a dangerous weapon with words that harm instead of heal and words that confuse instead of encourage. Oh how I desire to share words that perform the deeds of that latter.
In a house of three young boys, two major fundraisers, preparing for not one not two but three houses for a move, and just living inside my brain, quiet moments have been more nonexistent than even few and far between. All my so called 'downtime' has been spent sleeping and many nights that has been fleeting as all thoughts jumble in my head until none can make their way out and I'm too tired and honestly too intimidated to try and sort through.
Until now...
As I lay awake at 4:40 in the morning praying for no rain so my precious babies ballgames don't get canceled again my heart is drifting to all those whose prayers I want to lift up. Those close to me who are living with fear and rejection and unknowns, those who I haven't spent time praying for because I haven't spent time with my God.
He gently reminds me how I have turned him into a brief pit stop instead of a place of refuge. How I've let my time before Him get lost with everything else jumbled together into a giant list I want to block out.
He gently reminds me how quickly it can happen. Just days after continued vibrant times together turns into days upon days of quick thoughts and glances at best and complete avoidance at worst.
He gently teaches me that exhaustion is one of Satan's favorite ways to separate us. That whether the physical or spiritual tiredness comes first it will lead into the other and that my very first inclination is to let go of it all instead of clinging fiercely to the Hope I have.
He lovingly reminds me that when I let go, which I often do, He never has. He still and always will hold on to me. His love is that strong. His patience is that strong. His faithfulness is that strong.
While in my personal picture of perfection a quiet moment is one where all the things and people are at peace and there are no distractions anywhere to be found I am again gently reminded that peace and quiet of the heart come from one source and one source alone.
Quiet moments can be found and my heart can be renewed in the wee hours of the morning yes but even in the chaos, especially in the chaos, of the day to days of this fallen world we live in, quiet moments can and will happen in the midst of the worst. We need only be still.
