Wednesday, November 30, 2016

for when you have spiritual scar tissue

It is the last day of November, a month that holds so much joy from birthday celebrations, where distinct seasonal changes finally become apparent in The South, when thankfulness, though desperately needed for our hearts each day on this earth, takes a central role in the themes of life all around.

It is also a time where your heart feels constantly at odds with your body and mind.  Every part of the being inside longs for slowness, for the chance to sit, enjoy, and appreciate the leaves and the wind, the little and big ones alike are excited about time off of normal schedules, and the Advent Season that has begun with all the joy and beauty it entails.

Your heart wants to soak it all in, but your mind and body are trying to accomplish all of the tasks deemed needed so that there is something on which your heart can soak.  It can feel, quite often, like a never ending battle, between the undertaking of tasks and the triumph of appreciation.

Currently I am sitting in bed on a quiet morning, heating pad firmly pressed on my lower back, as I attempt to be still long enough to recuperate from aggravating a decade old injury.  All around me both physically in view and the long list in my head, are mounds of to dos loving to make themselves known and mock that they still sit uncompleted.  The living room has tools and supplies piled in corners waiting for their turn in a fireplace remodel that will hopefully be finished before stockings need to be hung.  Tables, chairs and coolers from our son's birthday party before Thanksgiving are sitting on the porch needing to find their way back into storage.  Paraphernalia from our two youngests' homemade zip line complete with beanbag crash pad are in the yard soaking wet from the rain that finally showed up.  A dead squirrel, the conquest of our newest kitty, most definitely needs to be disposed of.   Pecans need to be picked.  Suitcases put away.  A toilet needs to be fixed.  Clean the house could go on every list every day for every person for now until forever.

When your mind desires to process through words, everything is fodder, everything is noticed and analyzed, much to it's dismay and appreciation.  And so goes it with the reason I am resting right here instead of working over there.

16 years ago, almost to the day, the middle of my body was injured in a car accident.  Parts were compressed that have no business being pushed together and breaks happened, 5 to be exact.  All of them were in places that couldn't be stabilized so there were no casts, no outside visual of any injury, except for the crutches needed for a couple weeks.  However, inside was a mess of bones fusing themselves back together all the while producing scar tissue around them in hopes of building up protection against any future injuries.  Though it was common to have tinges of discomfort, normal movement seemed to have been present until a day recently when the scar tissue popped revealing underneath that what was thought to be healed didn't in fact come back together the right way causing pain, lack of mobility, and mega frustration.

Research showed me that this is a common problem, that protective layer that built up actually restricts and hinders the performance of intended functions, it binds up and ties down tissues that need to move freely.

Jeff Dunbar said "Your physical life is the laboratory for your spiritual life to grow."  Is it any wonder then why the first thought was this, what other parts of  life built up a protective layer around them only to have actually hindered true and complete healing?

Ask that question aloud.  See what happens.

It's a tested method so no worries.  I did the same thing,  I asked it.  At first there was fear of what would come up.  Would there be an onslaught of guilt?  Failure?  Would my mind feel as if it would explode from the sheer number of memories rocked?

Quite the opposite is what became true.

Just as a hot beverage can be felt warming the body slowly after a deep drink from a cup, warmth can be felt slowly as your heart feels the comfort from a Spirit longing to comfort, help, and heal.

Very few times in  life is there ever a quick fix, especially when dealing with emotions and character.  Almost all changes involve work, hard work, dedication to the task, presence in the solutions.  More often than not the reason we don't open ourselves up to change is because we know the hard that will come, we are aware of the adjustments needed and that things might very well get worse before they get better.  That is exactly how the scar tissue is formed, that is exactly how we become hindered from functioning the way we were intended to, the way we were designed.

All of life is sanctification, all of life molds and shapes to create a heart ever growing, ever striving to become more like Christ.  What happens in the physical translates immediately to the spiritual.  What happens to our bodies affects our hearts.  And beneath them both is a God already working to heal completely, changing our inner disposition, restoring us day by day.

Friends, it can be so hard to let go, oh so very hard not to build up your own protective layer trying to block further hurt or injury from any angle, but with Him we can "humble ourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, so that in due time He may exalt you.  Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)"

I'll be praying for you, pray for me.

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