Wednesday, November 16, 2016

for when you desire to change your inner disposition

All actions do not begin with a dream to accomplish.  Most decisions, most plans, most daily deeds are determined by the need of the moment.  What is necessary to be completed immediately?  What has to be taken care of and checked off to ensure that the machine which is life is running smoothly?   Before preceding to the wants and desires there tends to be a mass of responsibility always in the way.

On my counter is a daily to do list full of calls to make, errands to run, and chores to do.  Whether you write yours down or not, I would bet there is a similar one for your life as well.  Elsewhere, longing for attention, there is a list of projects I want to tackle, places I want to go, friends I want to catch up with, books I want to read, a future I want to cultivate.  Again whether or not you write that down, I would hasten to guess that there is also such a list for you set to the side, desiring a glance and a little attention.

One of the things my lips most complain about is the desire to build castles instead of parking lots. What I mean by this is that there is this yearning to build upon what has already been done.  To, like my son and his wooden blocks, continue to stack the pieces one upon another until an architectural masterpiece emerges.   What always seems to happen is that as soon as the first few levels are in place something comes along and knocks it all down again so that over and over the shape seen is flat with little productivity.

A rule in our home when the boys were very young was "Do not knock over someone else's build"  It's simple.  If someone else builds it, leave it alone.  Often it seems as if this is the problem, someone keeps coming along and knocking over my build.  How many times will this happened before I begin to realize that when I build something myself it will always be knocked down?  When I realize that an unmatched castle of the Kingdom of God is being built no matter how many parking lots of mine I see?

"Let us build for the years we shall not see" ~ Sir Henry John Newbold

Years ago there was placed in my heart, spoken through the words of a counselor, and developed by the Spirit within, three words.  An Inner Disposition.

Your inner disposition is who you are on the inside that comes forth in words and actions on the outside.  The question we should ask is what things do we see on the outside that give us a desire to make changes on the inside?

Each of us is a unique creation, placed together in a way that makes us exactly and perfectly us. Within us are placed a combination of talents and gifts.  We can not control which of these things we get, but we can cultivate the ones we are given.   However cultivating them alone is when what we build comes crashing down.

There is, in this world, a constant state of renewal.  Each day on the shore the tide will go out only to come back in again, but with it, the water brings food from the depths up to the shallow waters so that those who depend on it for survival do in fact survive.  Life cycles, water cycles, changing of the seasons, rotations of the Earth, it all exists to show the need for renewal, that things end only to come back again, that dying to one thing is the only way to produce another.

...though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16.  The words prior to these are my favorite.  We do not lose heart; that is why we do not give up.

Do we not give up because of ourselves, because of the things we are building?  No, the things we build will pass away, become as vapor.

The only true way to change your inner disposition is to deny yourself and follow Him.

We do not give up because we have a treasure in jars of clay to show that this surpassingly great power is from God and not from us.  We are pressed on all sides, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.  The treasure is Christ, His Spirit within, producing something in us that far outweighs our trouble, a castle that stands eternal.

God holds hearts.  His Spirit through the sacrifice of His Son is what is inside.  Day by day He is making them new.  Day by day he is guiding them to different places in different ways.  Day by day He is examining, not so He can beat us down with what is wrong, but so He can create a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within.

He is changing my inner disposition, and I want you to see how He is changing yours as well.

From that comes the well spring of life.  From that mouths speaks.  From that, tell of His wonders.

From those few years ago and that short phrase, many words have been written, and are still left to write, that desire to show and encourage transparency so that the light will shine in on any dark places, so that we see the ways we are falling short but also he love that encapsulates us despite them, and we begin the opening of ourselves towards renewal.

On the outside, at a glance, I may look the same, you may think you look the same, but look closer. You will see the difference He has made, the difference He is still making, the difference we have Hope that he will continue to do until completion.

I'm praying that you can not only see it, but that you will continue to seek to be made new, to see the Kingdom castle being built, and the ways you have been created to place your pieces.  Pray for me.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Sarah! Thanks for this beautifully written reminder that although we may feel stuck, we can be assured that God is building in us something that will never be knocked down. :) Love reading your words!