Thursday, August 4, 2016

for when you walk into the fog

Fog. It is a weather condition, like many others, that when it comes can conjure up a variety of feelings. When looking upon it while safe in the comfort of your home it provides a peaceful, serene view as it hides the distance while surrounding what is upfront in a protective hug. When walking in the midst of it, that same beauty can be seen if you are in a familiar place, strolling along a well worn path, inviting a different viewpoint to your welcomed familiar. But fog, that hazy restricting cloud, can also evoke anxiety, fear, and doubt in your heart as it blocks your sight of the distance and keeps you from preparing for what it is to come. One of the more difficult things in life to do is taking the next step when you have no idea what lies on the ground ahead.

Yesterday we woke up with a cloud of fog covering our yard and trees with nary a hint of the beautiful, landmark Old Church in the distance. From my big cozy chair it was a beautiful sight but the more I stared into its soupy center the more I began to think about and hurt for the ones, myself included, who find themselves in the middle of the cloud not quite knowing which way to turn.

Last weekend we said a most sorrowful goodbye to a little kitty who had our hearts, the void she has left is felt by all of us including our kitty brother who lost his sole playmate.  There are many other possibilities of goodbyes in the near future of other people and things that our hearts love, people and things that could leave voids as well.  Though life will always be lived with one goodbye after another, I can already feel the fog rolling in, causing me to doubt that there is a plan, doubt that there is a future I will love just as much, causing me to forget the wonderful that has been given.

My prayer journal is filled with names of friends and family who are embarking on new experiences that surely carry with them excitement but is most assuredly coupled with overwhelming nervousness that masks the familiar things that are still there. Even in anxiously awaited hellos, the fog can come in hiding the familiar, making you forget what you have already been given.

Recently I heard a Godly woman proclaim to a roomful of women that God is good, God is good to me, and God is good at being God. Our trouble comes when we forget these basic truths, when we don't give them the time to float up, before giving up, freaking out, hiding out, or stuffing whatever emotions the situation brings. When we forget that God is good, God is good to me, and God is good at being God we walk into the fog alone scared and confused instead of resting in the Hope we have been provided that He's got all of this.

While staring out that window I began to pray. I am praying to see His light shining through those hazy clouds, I am praying that the fog lifts and what is left is a clear picture of next steps, but mostly I am praying that regardless of what we see that we will walk into the fog knowing the only eyes that truly matter are guiding us exactly where we need to go.

 Pray for me, I'm praying for you.

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